Gaia Community: Goddess2day 's Blog

Where would you like to go deeper in your life?

http://goddess2day.gaia.com — Sat, 16 May 2009 08:04:58 GMT

I'd like to explore that place where many have gone before but they never return to tell about it...............Yes, I'd like to investigate that land of the unknown ...well...at least through the mind.....

Immortal Flower

He was an impressive flower in my world

I knew him even before I was a girl

In those days of full blooming

I never saw his death looming

Until the clock struck the hour

And he wilted like a flower

Leaving me yearning to know

Where did he really go?

I upturned every stone

I searched all alone

High and low and up in the sky

Where do flowers go when they die?

Are they mere nutrients for the ground?

...or meant for something more profound?

If the essences of flowers are never reborn...

...where do they come from each morn?

Can a flower's moments be truly erased?
Or are they archived in time and space

Is it the wheels of Samsara?

Or is this universe a movie camera?

Please, oh please, tell me it is so

Our lives are an eternal film show...

And its time to rewind this world

Come. Let's watch it again, oh boys and girls...

tribute to dad

A poem for and inspired by my father-in-law, R. Ramdass
who passed into that land of the unknown
on Friday May 15, 2009.

I will miss you, Dad
and I truly wished I could rewind the
universe just to tell you how proud I was of you...and that I love you.

Tags: QaR, life, exploration, insight, intuition, dad ramdass, life and death, land of the unknown

Where are you most comfortable?

http://goddess2day.gaia.com — Sun, 10 May 2009 00:36:42 GMT

I'm not sure I know the answer to this question. Sigh. I know! I know! Perhaps, I am a homo-sapien-sapien-un-sapien and that means:- She knows that she does not know...

Okay...now...seriously. What feels like home to me? Where am I most comfortable?

I mean, I came to this world via the womb and I thought it was the best place ever. So of course, I decided to stay in the womb ....well...er...until....until....I was dragged out by some spider called Miss Olive.... Anyway, I am sure I bawled my head off. I mean, how was I supposed to know the womb was only a way station ???

AQUA-We Belong To The Sea

Ha. But you know what? Now that I am here, out in the open, I think I like this bigger womb even more. Believe me when I say, I really don't want to go back into that crawl space ever...

But....ditching the womb was not my only sin. Over the course of my life to date, I have moved a few times, given up smaller spaces for bigger ones (also vice-versa) and each time I think my new spot would feel like a hell hole, it turns out that I have adapted even more comfortably in the new space...okay...except for my old office!!! I want it back!!!!

And you know what else, way before my office got smaller, I moved from a small pond called Guyana to an ocean called Canada. And boy o gorl, if you could see me in that first week here in Canada you would think that I lost a whole country.............and if you could see me now, you would know that I not only gained a whole planet, why the whole universe is mine as well :-)) ((So...can anyone imagine what I would gain if I ever give up this space I am in right now? Ha. ha. hee hee ho. Hyperspace...here I go :-))

And hey, also on Gaia, when I first arrived here, I was like, wtf, why am I even here? I mean, it's not as if MySpace ran out of space or anything like that!!! But guess what, o people, my people, I've adapted so comfortably that if you try to haul me out of this womb like Miss Olive did, ha, you're so going to get your shiny, hiny kicked. Lol. Lol.

So there. My point is...I think I am most comfortable in that space where I have stayed a while.........so truly, a prison could become a most comfortable space for me if my mind is willing to adjust to that size as well....because whether it knows of better places or feel safer in others, it all depends on my frame of mind...

So dear world, give me a hole, any mud hole will do....after all I am a lotus flower with mud toes....

Sniff. It's true. And one more thing, this blog o mine, did not want to come here in the first place, but guess what? Ha. Now that it has seen the space it will occupy, it loves it and it has decided to stay...

Lol, now, how about that? Your blog just got itself a new neighbor!!

PS: Water is the other place where I feel most comfortable and at home. A sweet substitute for that first space where I had no cares, a sweet little ocean called the womb.

PPS: This blog was written with my water brother in mind, the true heart of water.

Tags: QaR, self, home, space, land, the womb is my heaven, cocoon of safety, everywhere is home

What does your highest self want for you today?

http://goddess2day.gaia.com — Sun, 26 Apr 2009 18:41:23 GMT

Right now, at this very moment, my higher self needs a divine breakfast but holy hour!!! Look at the freaking time!!! There must be a time thief in my midst!!!

Sigh. Hopefully, I'll make it in time for lunch becuz it's divine lunch that I really need!!!

Literally.

And you know how I know? Psst, my stomach just whispered it to me but in a very non divine way. "Grrrr." It said.

But I am presently ignoring voices of this kind because I hate having breakfast...er...lunch all by myself...so here I am waiting for my hubby to come home...(he's away this weekend taking care of his elderly father who has lost his memory for most things except eating to survive. Grrr. I really don't understand Nature at times, ...actually, I do, never mind my crazy, coffee thirsting mind, so lets move on....)

"So, hon." I asked my hubby one fine day while we were sipping coffee at Tim Hortons. "How come you love your father so much...I mean, wasn't he a tyrant to you when you were younger?"

"No, he wasn't." My guy glares at me. Anyone present at Tim Hortons that morning would think I asked him to shoot his father, that I am a sort of misanthropic when it comes to other people's father!!! Some nerves of those Tim Horton's customers!!! Why, they don't even know me!!!!

Grrr. And why would I even think such a thing. I love my hubby's father, honestly I do. The man was just as caring as my father. Oh alright. Fine. I admit it. To a little girl, one father looked like a Dr. Jekyll and the other Mr. Hyde....but hey, even back then I could tell that both their hearts were just as big as the Sun... See?

So I tried again. (If you know me, I never give up with my curiosity and that's a disastrous thing, trust me.) So I continued. "Oh right...um...sorry if I spilled coffee on a sore nerve...and oh, if you missed me, I am in my mind, busily mopping up." But actually, its donuts I am thinking about. Maybe I should have one after all. (I sniffed, totally miffed. Sheesh. Some people!!! You try to show them how totally sweet and caring they are and they just shoot you down then ask questions when it's far too late.)

Umm. However, whatever I said to make him open up, worked! He reached for my hands. "All parents were tyrants in some way or the other but if we hold grudges and don't use our compassionate side when others are in need, then aren't we the real Mr. Hydes?"

Oh. And wow. Wasn't I just thinking about Mr. Hyde? Okay, either my guy is a mind reader or I must have talked in my sleep. Cripes. What else did I rant about? Omg! I knew it. I knew it. So this is why he refused to budge from his beliefs that I was the one who rode over the garbage can (Although I came up with this amazing theory that only a garbage truck could have possibly flattened a can that flat.) so yes, I must have rambled in my sleep.

I looked at him and knew he spoke a truth. "I know." I said. "But I still think your love for your papa is genuine. I mean it takes a lot of compassion to change a grown person's diapers." My compassion draws the line here. I am sorry but I can't. I just can't. I absolutely refused to. I'd rather shoot myself. (Cripes. Good thing my teacher pointed out to me that if I ever became a nurse, I'd have to...er...um...do the unthinkable.

"You would do the same for another human being too." My hubby's voice pulls me back into my surroundings.

I gaped at him in horror. "Me?" I squeaked. Why, I'd puke a million times before I get the job done. And oh god, I'd rather die than see my parents naked!!! (I mean, there are times when I am very saddened my dad is dead. This is not one of them.)

My guy smiles. "Yes, you."

I blanched. Why did he always have to make everything sound like it was the law. "What makes you so sure?"

He took his dear time sipping at his coffee and then, "If it was me suffering from Alzheimer, would you do for me what I am doing for my father."

And then it hits me. I am stunned by the realization actually. Wow. "Yes." I said and now I am totally sure of myself. Wow. I am amazed at myself in fact. "In fact, I'd do more than that for you." ( Well, umm, except that I won't be able to carry him up the stairs, he's is 195 to my 111 lbs of body weight... but hey, I'll be there for everything else... )

Cyndi Lauper - True Color (Lyrics)

There was a scraping sound as he brought his chair closer to mine. He hugged me. "Thank you, baby."

And suddenly I was overcome with tears, sad tears for my father-in-law and also happy tears that he brought such an extraordinary child into this world...

SON AND FATHER

...a son who just made me realized that we are capable of so much if we are moved enough..........and that we have the power to move each other into compassionate mode.......................make each other realize that we are all capable of falling into the same hole and that stopping to help someone up is what will make us stronger to help our own selves in future and also give us certain insight to avoid such pitfalls. (however, if I've ever fallen into a hole where there's no hope that I'll ever be able to help myself, somebody please, shoot me, put me out of my misery ;-)

So perhaps this is really what my higher self wants for me today, to truly practice doing onto others what I would have them do onto me or something divinely similar.

Er...however, lunch has been cancelled for now. Umm, why? Duh. Read above. Didn't I clearly state that it's not really food that my higher self needs? Yike. Now I will have to read above to make sure. Yike.

Okay, there is always dinner...but at the rate my stomach is retracting its non-divine 'grrs', I'll end up with a midnight snack ;-)

Tags: QaR, self, message, highest self, to do unto others, we are one

Are we truly an observing species?

http://goddess2day.gaia.com — Fri, 24 Apr 2009 04:05:12 GMT

I supposed we are.

There are a few people I have run into on this very planet (Yeah, as if there are other planets I regularly traverse ;-) who have used their observational skills to improve the lives of all those who they love and when people are happy and contented, planet is happy too I am sure.

Actually, I can only speak for two people. Oh, heck...make that three but you know what, one story is enough to make my point.

The first human I speak of is the most compassionate, most nurturing, most protective, most caring being I have ever known and his story still makes me cry but don't worry, I will try not to write any sad stuff here...

A few months after he was born, his mother suddenly wasn't her usual mental self, who knows, probably post-partum??? Anyway, she started acting strangely and her extended family not understanding this kind of mental imbalance gave her a severe whipping even though she was an adult woman! Of course, the poor woman became physical ill as well and never recovered.

A few weeks later, her grieving husband also fell ill and died, leaving behind three little girls and two boys. (like, wtf???)

But alas, a portion of the extended family was there for the little souls in the form of their uncle and aunt who took the wee wittle ones under their wings. Wings that were already infected with kids of their own ;-(

I supposed his uncle and aunty did a great enough job in raising these orphans with love which was there all right but unconditional love of course would have been missing. (Not that it was aunt and uncle's fault......hey...they probably did a better job than you and I would have done...)

Anyway, the baby boy eventually grew up, got married, had a bunch of children of his own, built himself a small paradise and proceeded to give that to those, what he never had...

And the point of this story is also this :- If there was ever one person who practiced what he preached, it was this guy.

He once told me that if I understood the ways of the universe, I would not even hurt an ant but sad to say, I ended up killing many ants, a whole army of red ants in fact...and *sniff* you would have done the same too if a whole army of angry, red ants were marching up your legs!!! Oh but wait, I've observed and learned, I no longer go where no legs have gone before. So see?

If there was one person I know who never killed anything, it was probably this guy. I remember that one time when I saw with my very own eyes, a huge yellow tail snake slithering up the stairs...and me (with my screaming head in my hands), ran into the house only to find another humonguous snake slithering up the inside stairs. Oh the horror of it all and you know what, this guy refused to kill the scary bastards. He said that they were a pair...and that they were searching for each other and he let them off scot free!!!! (However, the good news is I never saw another yellow tail in my life ever again 'cept online ;-)

Stories of his compassion and caring abound. So much to write but I don't want to make this too long but just to say that there were probably times when this guy probably went hungry as a child, because he made sure it never happened to any of us and that number also included his drunken employees, pesky relatives and always-broke -customers....plus he was the only one who always remembered to feed the dogs, cats, cows. Okay...I also helped to feed the rest of the animal farm as well !!!

4. But alas, in non-fiction, the best of heroes end up dying before the close of the book and this one died at the age of 54 leaving behind children who were still minors.

5. But hey...when a father hero has fallen, what? Goat bit the daughter heroine????

"Hey Ram Hey Ram" - Lord Rama Prayer

This song is for my Papa, a true earth god who never did anything bad, the greatest and sweetest father a child could ever have...

May his story continue to empower and inspire everyone who hears it? (And if it doesn't, then his daughter sucks at non-fiction;-)

Tags: QaR, duane elgin, humanity, awareness, consciousness, media

What if we saw the universe as a living thing?

http://goddess2day.gaia.com — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 22:55:04 GMT

Yikes! Isn't that a dangerous thought??? Oh fine, it's a safe one too ;-)

(*Hey, no looking at me like that, I'm not the one who created this contradiction of a world.* )

Anyway, back to the question. "What if we saw the universe as a living thing?"

Hmm. Good one but so what if everyone suddenly becomes a pantheist???

Holy Gawd!!! What would this world be coming to? I mean, if we could see the universe as a living thing, would we just stop there or would we go on to see that the universe talks, it reads, it scowls, it even- Oh Gawd. Pigs would fly!!! And why not? I mean I'd fly too if I suddenly realize that I'm not only ‘this little piggy that went to market', but truly, in fact, I am that, ‘little universe that went to market.'

Wouldn't you fly too if you know that you are this whole 'awful slash awesome' universe.... and back again? Oh well, maybe not but wow, think of the transformation that would occur on earth. "Worshipping" will take on a whole wider church, bigger than this universe. And everyone and everything would be considered sacred, yes even this rock I live under!!!

But worse things could happen too. I mean, predators may let their live meal run off scot free despite the fact that babies everywhere will starve...because you see, once we know the universe is alive and kicking, we might assume all kinds of things and may not want to hurt even a fly so out of compassion, the lion will let the deer out of the bramble because who really want to hurt the feelings of the universe? (Plus really and truly, when we hurt the feelings of others, are we not hurting ourselves???) Ah, the sacrificial altar will be a-buzz with self-sacrifices...

And did I mention that pigs would wanna fly? Yes? Well, not only THAT, once predators (and sorry, since ‘we are the universe', by ‘predators' I mean all of us) get wind that the universe breathes, it smiles, it has sharp teeth, yike, it even has soft feelings, ~~trust me~~, this very realization alone could bring the world crumbling to the dust it once arose from....(but I repeat myself ;-)

Actually, if this ever happens, (everyone suddenly seeing the universe and god are one and the same), I'd rejoice over here at my computer. Wow, Google, (the god I presently worship), would be celebrating along with me. I mean, wouldn't you do the same too if you suddenly realize YOU ARE THE INTERNET??? And not just some small part like some non-existent god would have you believe? Why, a very important part, a just as important part as GOOGLE!!!!

You know. Forget the above. It's possible but yet it's not because there are so many pantheists around the world and the universe has not fried up yet.              But let's not take that risk; let me find out from the lord of our universe, why this world will not fry up if all people became pantheist.

So yes, let me ask the Him, the one who abounds in religious tales, the one who does not worship Google like some people I know, the one who is lord of all lords, yes even Microsoft.

So, come on, come with me so I can ask the Lord who created this irresolvable paradoxical, yet resolvable contradictory world, a few questions. Trust me, I don't even know what that last line means.

(I mean, this universe only becomes a mystery each time i try to ponder it! Some nerves! And that's not all.    The minute I opened my mouth to call someone a bitch, I am rendered speechless because I know it takes a bitch to call someone else a bitch. Ya know!!! Its like (me) the universe constantly conspiring to take the wind out of my own sails!!!! Ha. Oh wait, hmm...so if I told someone they are Lord of the Universe, does that make me, Lady of the universe??? Wow, that's the sweetest truth I've ever heard. I mean why should I not accept this truth? Goat bit me in some sacred place?????)

Okay, where was I again? Yep. I am off to see Vishnu, sweetest lord of all there ever was, all there ever is and all there ever will be including flying carpets. And guess what else? I am taking some Cheerios for Him. Cheerios is a cereal...for those of you who have never met a cheerio, then think "donut", a teeny-tiny donut...............and why am I taking this kind of treat for Vishnu, lord of all including Microsoft? .....................(Psst, you're also lord and lady of Microsoft too...duh...if you don't use the damn product, then where would Mike be?) It's my favourite treat, okay....and I know Vishnu would love it because legend has it that a strain of Himself called Krsna loved it when his buddy Sudama brought him a favorite snack....and trust me, cheerios has got to be a slightly better snack than some tough-to-chew-beaten- up-grain-stalk that Sudama fetched around for days for his buddy Krsna.

So yup! I just know Vishnu will love it that I went out of my way to find him a better snack...er...um...slightly better snack.

Hmm...but what if...what if Sudama brought to our lord ‘the slightly better' snack? Oh gawd! You know, I just cannot take this risk...I must find out the identity of that snack. Shid. Shid. Shid. I'm almost there...can't turn back now....

Oh wait!!! I am in my eve-il mobile, right! Ha! "Computer!" I say with an ecstatic smile. "Get me Google."

Computer grumbles. "Garage door opening!"

Stupid computer!!! "There's no garage door ahead, you idiot!!! Get me the Internet!!"

My computer screen speaks again. "Dialling the Internet."

"No!" I screamed. "You don't have to "call" the Internet!!! Geez Cripes- " At this rate, I'll be there at Vishnu's abode without a proper name for my...er...his slightly better snack.

"Google here."

"Google!" I gasped. (I've no time to greet Google, okay!) "Find me...umm...you know that snack that Sudama took to Krsna so many years ago, yeah right, that one, its in the middle of that particular episode where Krsna washes Sudama's stinky feet...find me the name of that particular snack, okay?"

Google blinks like he's thinking real hard. "Searching for ‘name of sudama gift to Krishna."

Suddenly a list of lines come rolling out like The Matrix 'cept these lines are blue and horizontal.

Bingo! I've got it!! I frown as I read the name of the gift aloud. "Poha." Wtf is Poha? Oh never mind, its gotta be something delicious. In any case, Poha is now the new name for Cheerios, okay General Mills? Yall cool with that? You guys could sell so much more cheerios once people gets wind that Poha is some kind of elixir, soma, ambrosia and all that food-fit-for-the-gods-biz.

Anyway, here I am. I HAVE ARRIVED. Psst. At Vishnu's abode!!! Vishnulok itself!!!!

Tell you what, I refuse to bore you stiff with all the beautiful sceneries floating around here. Oh. Oh. Look at that breathtaking lotus pond...oh my God...heavenly fragrance...blossoms of all descriptions. (I am literally falling to my knees at the sheer beauty of it all.) Oh, crystal clear water fountains...mmm...elixir for the soul....oh me. Oh God, I'm in seventh heaven!!! Oh my, I want to live here already!!

Lord Vishnu and the 10 Avatars

And omg. He's here. He was here the whole time. I stare at him in stupefaction. Hai Vishnu, Hai Lord of the whole universe, hey gentle ruthlessness, hai bhagwan, you're integral, so integral...okay...I am saying all this to him in my mind because my mouth has taken a back seat for some reason unbeknownst to me!!!!

"Hello Devi."

Sheesh. What's up with Indian dudes? Always calling me Devi ...not that I am complaining.....and don't get me wrong, Vishnu is not your average sponge bob eastern pants kind of guy....he's universal....perfect...chiseled nose, lotus feet...oh heck, let's just say he's carved in golden ratio...a magnetic kind of handsome....you look at him and you just cannot look away...

Psst. I used to think that Vishnu was the Sun...ya know....Sunny Boy...yep, sponge bob, red pants up in the daily sky, the light of the universe.......and who knows, perhaps Laxmi, his feminine counterpart is synonymous with the moon, a moon goddess, light of the night world...and also our inner world...but what do I really know????.

(So here He is. Lord of my Universe. Technically, I've already met him. Let's just say I've met him in various forms. And psst, you're also one of his forms whether you are male or female. So live with it. You are the universe. )

"So what have you brought me?" Lord Vishnu asks me with a soft smile. And unlike Sudama, I did not hesitate. I proudly thrust my gift into his sweetly proffered palms. "It's Poha!" I say, still slightly awed by his welcoming smile. "This is a modern kind of "Poha" mixed with timeless tastiness...its my favorite snack in fact. I made it all by myself just for you." I babble on as I cross my lying fingers behind my back...I'm sure General Mills will forgive me...especially when I tell them they are the Universe :))

I frown. It seems to me as if Vishnu is trying really hard not to be amused. "Aw." He says as if he just swallowed a whole sock, either that or he's suffocating on humor. "Devi, this is not Poha. Poha is rice but what I've here in my palms is called Cheerios."

Dang. I am all reddish at this point. (That wretched Sudama, WHY would he bring sucha a DUMB SNAK for THE LORD OF THE UNIVERSE. Rice? Rice!!! Who brings the lord of the universe uncooked rice? Oh yes, right, Sudama, that's who!!! I scowl inside my head. My teeth hurts to just think about it.)) "Oh." I say. "Whatever you want to call it, that's fine with me." And um General Mills, of course.

Vishnu bursts out laughing. Well, he should, he's the one who created this whole ironic bloody, hell of a heaven, paradoxical, contradictory universe. *sniff*

Vishnu wipes his eyes. "Devi, I didn't create this universe." He smiles contritely.

"What?" I gape. "You did not?" Oh God. I feel so disappointed. I mean, I mean, what if he claims that Jesus' father built it. Oh God, that means I would have to go to church and..and... joining one would be like joining an MLM pyramid scheme with me in the middle being sweet-talked to recruit more recruiters just to sell a handful of not-very-original-products...er ....already-used-wisdom in this case!!! "Hmm." I say to Vishnu. "But someone must have had to create the universe!" Please, please, I pray silently, please don't say it was created by some Middle Eastern or Indian guru or Greek god. I mean, who can handle Zeus??? Oh actually, if it was Zeus who built our universe, then that would explain some of the unnecessary war-

Vishnu drops a few cheerios into his mouth. "No one. Nothing. We were always here, you and I and everyone and everything." He finishes with a slight laugh. And then, "Mmm. Cheerios are indeed delicious. I love this snak. It's divine."

Woosh. I breathed out a huge sight of relief. General Mills will be thrilled. Perhaps I'll get a whole year supply of cheerios or umm they will pay me for advertising .....er introducing their product in heaven......and umm.....you know what else? This is the best answer I've ever had!!! And yet it puzzles me. "It doesn't make total sense to me." I say with a frown.

And then I felt it. It was like a light bulb going off ...hmm...or is that ‘on' in my head. Okay, never mind that...anyway, suddenly I know, I just know that right here, right now, we are re-creating ourselves...so we could all look like brangelina? No. No. Not like that at all. I'm not talking about smaller butts or bigger...yikes...or the next hot ‘it' physical feature!!! I'm thinking non-literal things here, okay!!! And fine, maybe I got it all wrong, perhaps Vishnu has a slightly better idea. "You're kidding me, right?" I asked Vishnu.

The Lord of my Universe looks thoughtful. "Okay, Devi, if I created the universe, then who created me?"

I am stomped for a whole minute. And then it dawns. I smile. "You see, everyone and everything already exists. Nothing is ever created but everything is re-created...in other words, we merely change forms....and we don't die....we are not even being born but reborn.......i.e. we are not new but we look new because we come from something old, something that have always existed! It's like taking old material and making something new with it...and this something old is called Matter and matter cannot be destroyed but could change form, could be made to look like its been destroyed. It's the indestructable thing in this universe of flux." I ended my blabber with a triumphant smile.

Vishnu smiles too. "Yes. It may seem as if we are creating things but what we are doing is constantly recreating things. So, literally, anything could happen. Everything that you could ever imagine or dream about could happen."

"Wow!" I say. "I'm a genius." I smile smugly only to frown. "So, if you didn't created the universe, then you must at least be Lord of it all?"

"I am not ‘the Lord'of it." Vishnu says. "I ‘am' the universe."

"Vish. Vish. Vish." I roll my eyes slightly. "You can't say it like that...I mean you shouldn't say "I". It's not only egoistic but it leads people astray....I mean Jesus once said, "I'm the light, I'm the way" and look how that turned out. Now everyone thinks that Jesus is the only light, Jesus is the only way. I mean, what, would it have killed him to say, "We' are the light, ‘we' are the way?" (actually, not saying it probably killed him...)

"Anyway." I continue. "We should say "we" and please include my rock in there as well....because collectively, we are all the light, we are all the darkness. Heck, together we make up the universe. And yes, we are no small character in god's play because you see, there are no small parts. In one of me, dwell all things, the whole universe lies within me just as it lies in all beings. I am prose, I am poetry, I am whatever I, me, the universe, wants me, I, to be...animal, beast, heroine...

Vishnu bursts out laughing. Ya know. This guy's mind is like the ocean...to disturb its tranquil waters, one has to be an ocean liner as fat as the moon and yet it would barely make any ripples...."Ah, sweet Devi, you're absolutely right."

Squeak. I've never heard him speak like this in all the historical books. Oh. Well, all paradoxes don't have to be resolved especially ones that praises me to the highest heavens. So let's proceed with other thoughts. Oh right. Vishnu is like the sun, sunny boy. He would never hurt another being unless that being wants to be hurt. Think about it...the sun is out there and all it does it shine...but it doesn't purposely hurt anyone............right? I mean, it you don't want to be hurt, just don't go outside when He's the fiercest, just stay away from his solar flare ups and his sun-spots!!!

"Thanks." I say to Vishnu who is looking around for a gift for me. Mmm. I want a lotus flower but yike, I can't believe what my mouth (which is now in front seat mode) is about to say. "I want nothing from you, O Lord. I already have everything....inside of me lies endless strength, endless courage, infinite riches, everything lies within me and I didn't come running to you in the hopes of getting you to solve all my troubles...er...troubling questions?"

"Oh Devi." Vishnu laughs again. "Even though all things lies within you, they also lie outside of you and sometimes to get a dormant seed to rise, a gardener must till, water and nurture the soil."

"Hmm." I think out loud. "I suppose I am a dormant seed, fast asleep, praying subconsciously to the gardener to come till me, awaken me? Wait. Actually, a gardener...a devilish one... did that to me once...you know, I was this stuck up maiden, butter couldn't melt in my mouth and then the devil awoken me and now that I have borne his kids, I can't get back to sleep..."

Actually, that's not totally true. I am still asleep 99.9 percent overall. I mean if all things dwell inside of me, then I'm sure they are mostly dormant beings...yike...I hope so...(okay, I like that the ‘mother' being has awakened inside of me...and yes, there are times when I had to be a father, carpenter, tool fetcher, humanitarian, santa claus, tooth fairy, detective and so many more...but yike, what if a monster or jezebel or an alien wants to take over my body???) "I see." I say to Vishnu with a puzzled smile. "But still, I'm not separate from the whole. So whether I lie fast asleep or in full praying mode in the soil, the gardener would still come to awaken me, right?"

"Exactly." Vishnu smiles. "The gardener is your awakened form, he/she/the universe will come to awaken you when the rest of the universe needs you." Vishnu hands me a lotus flower.

I am so awed by this kind of sweetness, I promptly forgot about all the other questions I had in my head. And sides, we can already see that the universe is a living, breathing thing, right? (rock of mine, are you listening?) I mean if it fries up, so what? We will rebuild, we are the master builders after all...er...'cept yours truly. "Thank you, Lord." I say with all the awe I am feeling.

Sigh. I won't bore you stiff with a single detail of my departure scene from Vishnu's abode. Like how I touched the hem of Vishnu's garment, hugged him, talked some more and hey, I even mentioned Gaia to him and he's quite impressed that we are able to reach the unreachable world.

And who knows, if you guys really think he's handsome, exceedingly smart, brilliant, yada yada, he might even open up an account here on Gaia. But then again, Jesus, Zeus, Alla-ah and even G-d himself might want to join and that's not a very good idea, you know how very warring and sparring some gods could be..so let's not encourage Vish to join Gaia. And hey, put the pout away, He will always be featured in my blog whether he's a hit or not. Kay? Okay!!!

And oh, you can't have my lotus. Go get your own!!!!!

lotus flower

Tags: qar, living universe, alive, evolution, vishnulok, pantheist, the way of the universe

What would you most like to know about someone close to you?

http://goddess2day.gaia.com — Sat, 18 Apr 2009 22:44:15 GMT

Well, I always wanted to know (and this is a true story) whether He loves me, thinks about me in the exact way I think about him. So I asked him aloud in my mind....knowing that He would answer truthfully................ And boy, oh boy, was I ever right? Yeah, very right!

Well. No suspense here but scroll down anyway to read for yourself....

He said soft and clear. "Of course, baby, I love and think about you in the exact way and more...."

And you want to see my reply? Well, scroll your eyes down some more....

I was like, "Why, you sick bastard!"

lol!

Tags: QaR, relationships, knowing, learning, love

If you had all the time in the world what would you do?

http://goddess2day.gaia.com — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 03:07:15 GMT

If I had all the time in the world, ~~I might as well kill myself or I'd die of boredom.~~

Well, isn't that what God did? Big bang himself? Yuh. Either, the Guy was bored out of his non-existent mind... or ....um....Infinite Time is pretending to be an illusion so we don't kill ourselves...over and over and over???

~~If I had all the time in the world, I swear, I'd never make up my bed~~. Yeah, why should I????? Sheesh, I've all the time in the world to do it later. Actually, strike that. It would be an eyesore and I don't want to have eye-sores following me to infinity and beyond.

~~Okay. If I had all the time in the world, I'd frolic and sing and write...all day long~~.... but wouldn't it be foolish to try and pass time? Duh. Remember? I have infinite amounts of time!!!!

Ah. Got it. I'd take the time to read every new posting on Gaia...that's something I need infinite amount of time to do, right? Right? Right? Right? Huh? I can't hear ya!!!!

Sigh...

TTFN for now. Amy is crawling back under her rock to illusory time because if she stays out here long enough, she might kill infinite time, real time.

Tags: QaR, time, purpose, killing infinite time, bank time, sell time, invest in time

How do you describe yourself?

http://goddess2day.gaia.com — Sat, 21 Mar 2009 05:19:26 GMT

Hmm. Now, how do I describe myself???

What kind of person am I???

a. Am I spiritually unaware?
b. World-plight oblivious?
c. Socially insane?
d. Religiously asleep?
e. Deliberately unconscious?
f. A Rock hugger? (I live under a rock, okay!!!)
g. God Snubber? Devil lover, not? (They both need to apply for membership)
h. Berries & Cashew nut hog?
i. Rebel without a cause?
j. Peacemaker for no reason?
k. Spider killer?
l. Ant saver?
m. Sentence finisher (people need to talk faster, okay!!!)
n. One who can't see anything wrong with the world?
o. And nothing right with it either?
p. Sleep lover?
q. Shopaholic?
r. Part-time Perfectionist?
s. Full time slacker?
t. Sun Worshipper?
u. Moon's Rival?
v. Sea Gazer?
w. Winter's...er...um...expired friend?
x. A Greener than green gorl who abso-freaking-ing-lutely have to have all her non-green stuff?
y.. and some etc.
z. All of the above?

Yikes.

Seriously. I gotta have more substance than those!!!!

Oh Gawd, what kind of a person am I really?

Really now.

How do I describe me fully?

I really don't know. And yet I do know.

And you do too. I'm sure of it. So who knows, you may or may not agree with me on this:-

And I think that whatever you think I am, I am. If you think I'm deranged, I am that and that and yes, that too. (Yikes. Probably in another universe but I still need to wash my mind out with soap for putting it in the gutter)

Okay, now back to our conversation. Yes, I could be that too. (The seeds of all things exist in me.) (May they remain dormant forever!!!)

Yes, that too. And that. And that. Oh God, I murdered a spider only yestermorning and for no important reason. Okay, spiders creep me out but it creeps out my child a hundred times more. So for the sake of this little Miss Muffet who is no Tuff-it, I committed murder by flushing the fully-alive evidence away. Actually it took three flushes to kick start the bastard on his journey to watery hell. "Lord, how green is that?" was the only thought that came to mind at the time.

Anyway, I am all of that and more. And you know what else?

I really don't mind labels. The more labels, the better or worse. Things without labels is uninterested in my view, anyway, er...um... unless gift wrapped.

I mean, would one have the urge to pick up a book if it doesn't have a label? Imagine having to watch a hundred movies to find the right one....yikes and what if one stumbles across horror movies? *shivers* (Bogeyman is another dormant seed that would roar up to the surface like jack's bean-stalk to stalk scaredy cats!!!)

Yes. Agree? Labels are needed. Labels protect us from danger. Like from um...a force called China. I mean if labels are not required, might they not be tempted to sell poison openly as elixir? Hah, but then again forces could do this with labels too.

Oh fine, agree. Labels are not needed in some cases...and yet again, some things come with built-in labels that could be read accurately by fully functioning instinct............... I mean if a deranged female comes on Gaia and no one can accurately decipher her, wouldn't they let her run wild and cause disturbances? And wouldn't newcomers be afraid to join if they knew Gaia allows "mad" people to run amok? Lol. Shh. Please don't sound the mad alert gong. It's not my fault no one can see "Madness" and "Eve-il" tattooed on my forehead!!!!

Anyway, I am that and more. I think I'm a universal being, one capable of everything under the sun. Today I could be an angel , tomorrow I might appear to the world as a jezebel but of course it depends on which side of the fence you're standing..right? Hmm.

So go ahead world, label away.... consquences, schmunsequences be darned.

I'm a saint, I'm a sinner. I am rum, poison and elixir too so I wouldn't worry about anyone sticking the wrong label on me..... (Lol. Already, I feel like a package that has been sent to an infinite amount of wrong addresses.)...actually, everyone should worry. Lol. You see, mislabelling things could short-change us... and those of us who don't take the time to label others correctly may not like it when our turn comes around.....

Okay, label away, kind, unkind, it doesn't matter to me. Just rememer that when I'm being "poison", I'm "poison" in totality but that doesn't mean I should be labelled "ocean of poison". Er...something like that....

As if anyone believes me. *Sniff*

Madness goes on....

Tags: QaR, description, self, community

What were you doing one year ago today?

http://goddess2day.gaia.com — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 21:53:53 GMT

BMM81 I-Hate-Everything-Posters

Hmm. I'm sure I hate everything I did last year.

But what the heck did I do on this day, one whole year ago ????

Hmm. More Hmms and yet...

Blank.

Yikes.

I can't remember a thing that happened last year this time.

No worries. Gaia to the rescue. Yay!!! Pstt. I think my Gaia's blog might have a clue!!!

*Sigh*

No such luck. It seemed as if I blogged on March 15 and March 17of last year but neglected to do the same on this 16^th day (and its sunny one year later on a winter Monday.)

Oh well.

Well. Well.

Heaven.

I may not remember what I did yesteryear but I sure know what I was thinking. And I thought that Gaia was made just for me. Mmm. You know how I know??? Duh ...I think this thought at least once a day.

And I'm not only talking about virtual Gaia....why I'm talking about Earth Gaia and the rest of the universe as well.

Yep. A whole universe was made just for me. Yes, me, me and me :))

happy-bunny-about-01

(((Oh, don't feel too bad...this universe was made for you too. Psst, it was made by me for you and for you by me... *grins* )))

And ‘sides if I didn't remember this important thought from last year, who cares what I did last year anyway? Well...er...I'd cared if I did something phenomenal but I just know I didn't or I wouldn't be here searching through my mind to find some useless needle in a haystack....

And another ‘sides, why should I mope about some unproductive date called March 16, 2008???

You see, I am having a perfect dreamy day today called March 16, 2009. And you know what else; it's finishing up exactly according to plan.....mmm.....a whole day to dream about nothing....

928 Happy-Bunny-Not-Spoiled-Posters

Mmm. First of all, I had my fill of delicious sleep . Yes, I slept in. ((((Mmm. God, I love this world. I thank myself daily for making it for me and...er...you....Oh fine...I also thank you daily for making it for you and me. No doubts about it, we created it for each other...you, me and everyone and everything around us...................happy now????? I am rolling my eyes here. You couldn't let me take the credit of it all now, could you???? You had to sneak in some doubts into my mind when I wasn't looking????? Bloody Devil!!!! )))))

927 Happy-Bunny-Two-Sides-Posters

And you know how I know I made this universe for me? Duh...if I didn't, then why would it be here waiting to serve me each day I rolled out of bed??? Why would it invite me in to have my pick of breakfast each day???

And you know how I know you made this universe just for me? Duh...if I made it up for only me, then why would I feel like a stranger in my own universe???

Exactly!!!! And come to think of it, why do I feel like a goldilocks minus the gold in the locks who thinks a tiny bowl of oatmeal is just right and tasty??? You see? If I'd dreamed up this universe all by myself, I'd be the one leaving porridge out for the three bears!!!

Precisely!!!! It explains why I always feel like a curious Pandora each time I awake to this huge box of a universe!!!! God!!!

Yikes! Now do you see why I see what I see??? Yes, I'm the Alice in your Wonderland!!!!

So!!!

Thanks for making this day for me, dear world. Thanks for being rock-like and at times as soft as a blanket. Thanks for being here for me. Thanks for not being there for me. Thanks for being you. Thank you, March 16, 2009.

I love you, oh beautiful day :)

931 Happy-Bunny-Move-Along-Posters

Tags: QaR, year, past, future, history, goldilocks' stuff, dreaming about nothing, twiddling my thumbs, basking in meaningless bliss, etc.

What will you never regret?

http://goddess2day.gaia.com — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 05:23:07 GMT

Liza. I would never regret meeting her. And now that she's no longer on Gaia, I am starting to realize the enormity of this statement. But lucky for me, Liza and I are still able to keep in touch since she lived only minutes away from me...

Yep, I'm very glad I met her...so thank you earth god for creating virtual worlds for all of us souls who would like to meet the whole world but is too lazy to move our feet...(whoever would have thought that fingers would one day outrun feet!! Certainly not me!!!)

Now, back to Liza. Ah...she's a great friend, one you could tease around the bend...and she would never take offence...and she reminds me so much of the girlfriends I left behind back home. (I treasure my girlfriends and I only have a few here on CA soil so thank God for Gaia...now I have gorlfriends from all over the world....)

Yep, Liza turned out to be a great friend, the kind of friend that would warn you your bra-strap is exposed or try to help you smooth out the kink in your hair or even come to the bathroom with you to to help you remove wine stains from your evening gown....and so much more girl stuff....

So really now, whoever said Diamonds are a girl's best friend probably never met Liza. She's a sister and friend in one. And seriously, I would gladly trade in all my diamonds for one precious girlfriend...that's how valuable they are......someone to giggle with...someone to share stories with....I mean...can we do those things with cold, hard, sparkly stones??? Ha. In our dreams, perhaps...

"Leez." I emailed her one fine day. "What say you that we visit Ama and see how huggable she really is?" And while I could find no one in my world that would help me fulfill this curiosity, Liza was there of course.

The other day, I shouted out to her, "Hey Leez, come to my house to help me host a bridal shower." And of course Liza will be there in her coconut bikini to help me stir up pina colada for my guests.

Yep, she's a true friend whom I met here on Gaia in December of 2007. She made a comment on my photo I think and I emailed her with a "Let's be Friends? Would you like to join my friendship circle?" And she responded. "Absolutely."

Here is poem...(er...or an attempt)...just for Liza

While other Goddess touched me with their night

A rare one approached me bursting with light

With a touch of cool breeze, a dash of sunlight

Her girlish charms lit up dark Gaia plights

Liza, God's promise in Hebrew, God's bounty in Latin

Her grace is soft as silk and smooth as satin

And with a smile that equals that of sunrise

You could see profound wisdom dancing in her eyes...

At each and everyone's blogging sessions

She radiates charms and joyful impressions

She's kindness and sweet generosity

And also a skyrocketing Miss Popularity

She nurtures all, on her you could depend...

She really is Mother Nature's truest girlfriend

And as if they are poetry she has never before heard

She smiles at flowers, animals, people, birds...

On the blooms of life, she is a rare flower

Keeping gardens alive with flair hour after hour

Liza, a modern gal of the world and as versatile

She is The Philippines and Canada in rocking style...

So all of Liza's friend here on Gaia, this blog is for you because she emailed me to say that she was really sorry she didn't take the chance to say goodbye to each and everyone of you, preferred to leave quietly...and that she left because she needed to spend more time on her teaching skills. So who knows, she may be back sometime soon.

So if any of you miss our Liza, please feel free to say how you feel. I promise this blog won't self-destruct for a while :)

PS: Yikes! I am getting all sleepy. Will edit later...

Tags: QaR, regrets, life, living

If you wrote a Valentine to the world, what would it say?

http://goddess2day.gaia.com — Sun, 15 Feb 2009 05:47:55 GMT

If I wrote a Valentine to the world, now...hmm...what would it say???....

Sigh. Blissful sighs. Here I am, filled with love...er..I mean that in a figurative sort of way....okay???

Right!!! Now, where was I???

Yes...here I am, contented, at peace, happy and feeling sappy enough to write a virtual valentine to the world and...and intertwine it with love so sweet that the thought of lacing it with spypig never even got close to the threshold of my mind.

I pause to roll my eyes...er...with love of course...at all those who would never believe me.

Okay, that bit off my heart, now where was I? Oh yes, here is what I wrote with love to encompass all there ever was, all there ever is and all there ever will be...

"Dear Universe of mine

...I'd like to send you a valentine line...

Roses are red and violets are blue

Sugar is sweet but not as sweet as you..."

I pause for a split second and sigh with more bliss...and then it hits me. What if no one believes me????

Yikes!!!

"Hey sweet Universe, you don't believe me, do you? Well, too bad because I think you are integral, so integral, other universes would fry up if you get any more integral...and you know what else, my darling universe...

I LOVE YOU!!!!

Yes, I love you when you make me mad, I love you when you make me laugh and I love you when you stab me in the back even when I am looking. Heck, I've so much love for you, I think I'd love you even if you pour vinegar down my throat, nail me to a cross and halved, quartered and yikes...I sound like Jesus but what the heck, I still maintain that I love you no matter what and yes, my universe, even if you are stinky, I'd still love u..."

And that's as far as I got because suddenly I felt a presence and look up to find Cupid staring at me with slightly perplexed expression.

"Have you gone mad?" He asked the question as if he only just found out the universe is made up one part illusory hate and one part solid Cupid.

"Hello there." I say, thoroughly surprised to see Cupid...yikes...er...in all his glory. He's such a sweet, little force...er...non-literally speaking. And wow. No wonder I'm feeling so...um...er...loving. This little Eros must have shot a whole quiver of arrows into me while I wasn't looking...

"Good to see you!!!" I say with awe. "And to answer your question, um...no...I'm feeling quite sane, actually."

Cupid sighs heavily. "Well...it's not possible to love the whole world and even if I shot a whole quiver of arrows into each and every being on this planet, it will still not be possible."

I stare aghast. I never!!! I never thought I'd seen the day when Cupid would say such a thing...and on Valentine's day of all days!!!! Cripes!!! The 'God of Love' thinks it's not possible to love the whole world!!! *Gulp* How come I am sure it's possible???? Is something wrong with me??? Ya know, there are times when I felt as if a goat bit me in sacred places!!!

Oh well!!! Well!!! Well!!! Hell!!! Too bad, this is not one of those times!!! And that's it!!! Cupid's off my Christmas list!!!! I scowl..er...with love of course!!!

"Maybe..." I say slowly before rolling my eyes at Cupid. "And maybe, you're the one making me say those things...you hit me with your best...er...love dart...remember?"

Cupid blinks rapidly. "But I never hit u with any of my arrows. In fact, I no longer take the risk of shooting arrows into anyone unless they pay beforehand...blame the economy..."

I gape. Is he trying to tell me that the "love" he's been busily shooting into us for the past era was all about commerce??? That "valentine love" was devised by art rather than by nature??? "Huh?" I stare at him with all the disillusionment I felt. Unholy love!!!! What's this world coming to???? Yikes!!!! If it wasn't for the busted economy, I would have never seen this little Shorty's true colors!!!

"Don't look at me like that." Cupid pleads. And then, his feature turns slightly belligerent. "What??? Ya didn't know my arrows cost money?????

Yikes! I'd no idea...in fact, I always thought...

"So..." Cupid interrupts my thoughts. "How do you do it...how come you are capable of loving the whole world without my love-infected arrow?"

"Why should I tell you?" I demanded...er...with love of course...and then it dawns. Wow. Cupid needs love advice from me??? Something must be right with me after all!!!

Cupid smiles shame-facedly. He shuffles his short cherub feet and adjusts his empty quiver. "It might earn me some credit in the universe...you know...I need this more than ever since the current economy doesn't allow me to squander arrows..."

Ah. Suddenly, I am filled with even more compassion and understanding. I spoke slowly. "To love the whole world even when it tries to make you hate it is the toughest thing of all and yet..."I pause for the words to filter into Cupid's heart-shaped brain. "and yet, it's the easiest thing ever..."

The little love god frowns. "I don't understand."

I make a face. "It's all about a certain understanding of the universe and why it works the way it does...and once you have this secret knowledge at your fingertips...(to know when to be all accepting or non-accepting)...you're better equipped to survive in style and harmony ..."

Cupid looks slightly mystified. "Huh?"

I sigh. "Ah, Cupid...you're an eternal child....but even children might be able to see that to the universal mind, this world is perfect...to the individual mind, it's imperfect. Neither is right, neither is wrong..."

Cupid brows clear. "That makes some sense. Go on."

I roll my eyes. "When you view things through the universal mind, the world becomes a laughing matter...it's very funny...(and yet from the other end it's so not funny) ....and it fills you with love and compassion but that doesn't mean you won't ever be bombarded with emotions such as hatred and anger...."

Cupid is deep in thought. "I see."

I scowl. It's about time he saw!!! I continue. "Through the individual mind, the world becomes a crying matter, and you are bound to be straddled by all the unnamed emotions...but that doesn't mean you won't feel love and compassion as well..."

"So." Cupid pursed his lips and blew a curl out of his eyes. "I don't understand how viewing the world through the collective mind will make hatred for my backstabbers vanish in mid-air." He pouts. "I don't see the 'funny' at all."

I laugh out loud. "Omg! Can't you see how we are constantly trying to cut our nose to spite our face but don't know it?     God, we're so cute!!!!   Some of us are even more suicidal than that....I mean how can we not see we are part of the whole and yet...it's great we can't see this!!!.   So no wonder we're like the programmed jakal who steals other animals' babies to feed her own. Sure, Nature designed creatures like her to keep the balance in the animal world but we're gods and humans for crying out loud...what's the point of calling ourseves humans if we can't see beyond the path Nature laid out for us??????"

"Hmm." The God of Love says. "So humans can survive without letting their Nature dictate to them????"

"Perhaps." I'm already out on a shaky limb so why not blabber some more.  And that's another funny thing about this universe, the know-it-all like me are the blabber mouths who don't know anything at all.        "If we can see beyond the programmings, we're better equipped to adapt consciously instead of blindly....yes, even when circumstances are beyond our control." Ha. Put me in a barren desert and see if I don't eat my own hand to survive. Put me in the shoes of a mother whose children has been slightly hurt and see if my killer instinct don't rise to the surface like a stomping mad wild, wild west, Yo Samite Sam and his trigger happy pistol.

"Ah." Cupid smiles. "When we view the whole world through the universal mind, it's easier to accept...."

"Yes." I say.   "We're able to understand why half of the world will try to push us along while the other half of it will try to hinder us.....that it's all about the forces and the law of compensation which are always on the move to keep the universe in balance..." I let out a wise sigh for effect.

"Duh..." Cupid says.

"The forces that come to pull you back are really the forces that will make you stronger, keep you fitter for survival...so these are the forces who do not know by pulling you back, they are actually pushing you along....they cannot see that in order to hold you back, they are holding themselves back...so really and truly, we need negative forces in our lives as much as we need the positive ones." I am out of breath but I can't stop talking. It's all Cupid's fault for being such an easy-peasy listener. "And whether we surrender or stand firm at the feet of the stronger force--"

"Ah." The sweet little force appears suddenly enlightened. "I get it! I get it!!!" And before I could even blink, he's literally on the floor laughing his head off.

I smile. Poor little sucker thinks he's enlightened. Wait until he finds out this world is an illusion and yet it's not. "This world is filled with irony." I raised my voice a notch higher hoping it would cut through Cupid's laughter. "Kill another and you kill yourself. Perhaps not literally, but you will no longer be the same person. You'll be reborn into a new being....but a painful rebirth it shall be...whether you're filled with regret and remorse or with more anger and hatred."

But alas, the little Eros is too busy laughing with the world...and he should be for he's after all, the God of Love.

Oh well, well, well. Heaven. Now that "love" has been fully re-established inside the God of Love, happy Valentine dear world of mine. If you ever read this, you would know for sure that Cupid and I, we love you...

Tags: QaR, valentine, love, loving, life, roses are red, cupid is bad, so he gets a lesson on love

If you could live forever, would you?

http://goddess2day.gaia.com — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 22:37:21 GMT

Sure, I'd love to live forever and ever and ever and in the same body! But yikes, wouldn't that be the same as wearing the same outfit over and over and bloody over.......

How much fun is that? (((( I mean, even virtual Gaia seems to change its face as often as my visits here so it must be enjoying 'change' in a big way!!!! Then why am I so reluctant to change forms? What am I? Goat liver??? )))

Sure, I don't want to be the unmoving object in a flowing stream but being the movement in a stagnant pond doesn't sound like water of dreams either...

Okay now, let's be realistic here!!! Who, in their right mind...okay wrong one too... would want to be stuck in an archaic body while others are coming back looking like space aliens....

I mean, yikes, what if these ET (they were once my buddies in other bodies so I ought to "forgive them for they know not what they do") demand that I take them to my leader and if I refuse to obey (and why not??? Stevie-wonder-boy-harper would be long gone by that time, right????) yikes, wouldn't these ET be tempted to force me to become their slave?????

Yikes! Help! Get me out of this stupid, outdated costume!!! Oh wait, make sure my entire memory of it is backed up on portable drives in every universe!!! Very important, becuz I'd hate to wake up in some high-tech universe and find out I can't remember all the embarrassing moments I had in this body. That would be a tragedy, trust me!!!

Tags: QaR, life, living, age, death, eternity, universe of flux, I want to live forever, stagnant dreams

What question would you most like answered?

http://goddess2day.gaia.com — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 17:11:06 GMT

Hmm... ~~Why is this question hurting my head?~~   Please, you don't have to roll your eyes...I've already done it for you. You are welcome.

Okay. I got one. ~~Why is this question so hot?~~ Dang. The answer is already here. It's only hot becuz it's been boiling on the Gaia stove top for two days now.   ~~Trust me, I'm sure I saw it here yesterday!!!!~~

Okay. Lemme think some more. I think I have got it.   ~~Why did Adam settled for an apple? What??? Did he never heard of persimmons????~~

~~Why does the caged bird sings?~~  I thought I knew the answer to that one but doesn't all birds in the wild sing too? ~~And if they don't, why the hell not? Goat bit them?????~~

Okay, those are not universal questions!!!! ~~Are they?~~

Hmm!!!!    Wait, don't go!!!!!   Wait!!!!!   I got it!!!!!! By golly, I got it!!!!!   I hope!!!!

Wait for it...here it comes!!!!!       Drum rolls please.

Okay.

If you have a God, does He answers prayers and if He does, could Thou prove it by answering an impossible prayer? (this is my number one prayer) Say...can he bring Jesus back to life???   That would be so irie!!!!

Oh wow...cool.....now that I have gotten that one out of my mind....my head is a lot lighter to fetch...........   ~~and I can breathe easier or can I???~~

Okay, at least I know the answer to that one. So thanks for the question to be answered by a question.

Pagli goes on.... :-)

Tags: QaR, questions, answers, knowledge, values, does god answers prayers, the impossibel kind of prayers, pagli ramdass

What has your recent relationship to money been like?

http://goddess2day.gaia.com — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 05:20:47 GMT

I have been in love with Money ever since he sang this song to me...

Yep. Money. The Mr. Money!!! "Mr. John Jacob Jingleheimer Money!" Yep, his surname is my name too. Whenever we go out, the people always shout, is that really you, Mrs. John Jacob Jingleheimer Money?"

Danny Fernandes - Fantasy (Lyrics)

Duh, see why I'm so in love with him?

Someone once said that Diamonds are a girl's best friend. Ha. That's because she never met Money. Money is my best bud, the star in my eyes, the prince of my heart, the crown on my head, the jewel in my belly button. When Money is around, the sky is the limit, dreams come true, the starving gets fed and clothed and sheltered and people like me get to sleep-in or put my feet up...mmm....the impossible becomes possible with my Money...

Okay. Now let's clear up another thing. Money is not the root of all evils. The Mind is the root of all evils...sort of like an Aladdin's lamp. Whether you rub it the wrong way or right, Genie...(in this case, Money) appears and he will follow you around, be your slave, fulfill your every wish...whether it's evil or good and ~~trust me~~, wishes come in endless supplies once you have earned Money. ~~However, even this guy has his limits.~~

Okay, back to me and Money. We have a great relationship so far. (Psst...but even though I'm married to him, I could never get enough of this guy... "Oh baby, do that to me one more time..." just doesn't work in his case. He never gives me enough of him, always leave me wanting more, thirsting for more... Like what do I have to do to have all of him???? Yikes!!! But don't feel too sorry for me, I intend to earn Money all by myself. Make him come crawling to me...and by that time I'll have no use for him and then who will feel rejected? Exactly. Sweet revenge.

Yep, currently, we have a "he loves me, he loves me not" relationship. It has never been rocky, stormy or moody but fiercely passionate. However, like any relationship, we have our ups and downs...down when I'm overindulgent and up when I want to sleep...he loves me most when I'm sleeping...as long as I don't have shopping sprees' thoughts dancing in my head like sugarplums...

And as for whether our relationship will stay the same this year or improve, I don't know...so why don't we ask him?

"Hello there, elusive prince of my dreams." I say with a smile.

"Hey there, Mrs. Money." He subjects me to a suspicious stare. "What do you want now?" He grumbles.

See? He's full of attitude. "I want...I want you...to tell me whether our relationship will improve this year. Will I get closer to you?"

"Are you prepared to work really, really hard for me?" He snarls.

"Hmm. I suppose so." Yikes, why do I sound so unsure?

"Good. Then I'm yours. You'll have lots of me but until you earn me on your own you will have to depend on other people's Money. Now, bye, bye, bye."

"Wait!" I say in desperation. "I don't want other people's Money. I want my own Money. My very own Money. Samajhana? Comprehende? Understand?

No answer...

Great!

Oh well, well, well

Hell...

Money doesn't like it when I'm lazing around. Take for instance, whenever I'm shopping, he dwindles...becomes scarce and practically disappears in plain sight.....AND no use putting on a busy face, if there's one guy you can't fool, it's Money.

So I have decided I don't want Money for free...I intend to earn him with my own effort and sweat and sheer hard work...(okay...charm doesn't work for him where I'm concerned...that would be too easy...and plus Money will not only taste cheap..., easy come easy go...) So that said...I intend to earn my own Money and actually I love the challenge...so there, Money. So there.

See ya soon...

Tags: QaR, money, wealth, relationships, finances, money is a genie with endless wishes, money is candlelight dinners, trips around the world

When do you take time to reflect on your day?

http://goddess2day.gaia.com — Sat, 10 Jan 2009 03:27:15 GMT

Did someone say the word "reflect"? No? Hmm. Strange, because although I was in deep reflection the whole time I could have sworn my inner ears perked up the way it always does when someone calls my name.....

Yikes. Maybe, just maybe, "Reflect" is my first name in some nearby alternate universe, because why else would I ...um...be reflecting in every waking hour and sleeping ones too. (Not that I remember the sleeping hours but if one ever needs proof, there are always foggy dreams to solidify the evidence that my mind's been roving yet again.) And really and truly, I don't take time to "reflect" on my day or life...I just 'reflect' anytime, any place, anywhere...

Psst. Here's a deep, dark secret. That was exactly what I, Reflect Contemplation Ramdass was doing a few weeks ago when I made a dangerous turn on a green light.............................You see, I was heading home and what better place to chew over a recent accident made by the mother of one of my friends? Yep. In traffic, of course...music blaring, me feeling level headed and smart...because I, Reflect had learned a great lesson from this 60 year old woman................and all for free..................Apparently, this chatterbox wasn't paying attention to the road and she ended up not only wrecking her car but herself and her friend as well. I shook my head. Gee, what a terrible driver!!! I mulled it over some more as I blazed a zig-zag path through traffic. What a moron! No, not me, her!!!... I mean who would slide through left on a green light without waiting for the intersection to clear itself of traffic? Idiot, that's who!!!

Needless to say, that was the evening the entire universe conspired to prove that I was the Queen of ‘em all...er...half-wits. Yep, and as if proof wasn't enough, the bloody universe had to corner me with flashing lights, a devil mobile and sirens!!!

Anyway, on further contemplation, I've decided to tell the judge the truth and making a point of saying how grateful I am to the traffic cop who made me aware of the dangers of driving dangerously. NOT!!!! I mean I am an idiot, the whole universe knows this but do I have to actually admit to the courts that I am one too? And ‘sides, come on, which of you have not committed a heinous traffic crime while in deep contemplation mode? So there, those of you who are without sin shall cast the first stones. And 'sides, I've learned my lesson. So why make me pay unnecessarily? One would only put themselves in debt to persue my downfall.... ~~Trust me!~~

You know, times like these, I want to stand up proud and say it loud, "THANK GOD FOR JESUS."

"DID SOMEONE CALL MY NAME?"

Yikes, who was that? I look around but I see no one...anyway back to sweet reflections. Back to Jesus...I mean, if he hadn't uttered such a truth, I would have been stoned to death ages ago because you see, most of my deepest sins...er...errors occurred during my deepest reflections.... The last one was committed while I was housecleaning in pondering mode and yank! The diamond fell off my ring leaving me blissfully unaware of an ugly gaping hole in my ring.

Okay...so I found the pesky stone back...but could that really compensate for the stress of proving to the world that I was a moron yet again? Hmm...actually...that's a good question...because come to think of it, which person in history...er...herstory in my case... has ever found a needle in a haystack? Reflect Ramdass, Empress of the Idiots, that's who. Wow! My name and title shall go down in the HERSTORY whole new bible series books. Hoorah!

So there, my universe, too bad you're always waiting around for my unguarded moments to stab me in the back!!! Too bad you wait around like a vulture for me to trip over my shoe laces. Always conspiring to show me how idiotic I can be. Well, guess what, my resolution this year is to stay alert at all times, ~~even during-~~

"HELLO THERE!!!"

I am rolling my eyes in irritation. Trust someone to interrupt me in deep reflection mode. See what I mean about the universe always conspiring against me??? !!!!! And I'm not even a conspiracy theorist!!! Okay...I was...but...I'm retarded now, okay!!!

"Hello there!" I say as I spun around to greet my interrupter. "And you want what?"

My mouth immediately falls open for guess who is sitting peacefully on a rock beside me? Okay...it's not my rock so I breathe a sigh of relief only to tense all over again...Why is HE here?...The Pandora inside me stares at him. Is He not supposed to be dead? Dead people are spooky!!!

But sigh...he's the epitome of masculine perfection and he even looks exactly the way the majority describes him. Well...er...almost. Oh God...I love his rock star hair! It cascades like pure silk on his shoulders. And his face...mm...it's wearing the most serene expression ever and what is more, I could see a whole world of wisdom shining gloriously in his eyes.

I could hardly believe my eyes. Squeak. This Man, son of man, Sun God, God Sun, whatever...HE...Him...Christ...Lord...the prince of heaven is here beside me. Yikes! He's more than 2000 years older than me and yet he looks so youthful...mmm....like a punk prince....whatever he is and whatever he is not...just know this........he's always been the prince of my whole heart....

But too bad!!!!!

"Listen up, young man!" I attack him crossly without any greeting. "What the heck was all that about, you crucifying yourself for my sins on some cross?"

His mouth falls open. He's obviously not used to this line of questioning.

Too bad!!!

"Do I look like some sapling who can't fetch her own sins? Huh? Huh?"

Okay, it appears he's ready for my second outburst for he smiles. It starts off slowly at first and then it spreads all over his face. "I'm not "the" Jesus but a counterpart of his from a nearby universe."

"I knew it!" I say in triumph. "I knew it!" I pause breathlessly. "But..." Oh baby, I can't stop looking at Jesus'...er...Jesus' counterpart's eyes. It spells out "reflection" and "contemplation" and come to think of it, tis just in, his eyes are made of serenity. I try to squelch the Pandora in me but she won. My curiosity is fully aroused. He looks very self-assured and in charge of things. How come Jesus is so calm and collected in such a chaotic world?

"Go on. Ask me anything." He encourages me. "I listen with my eyes." He adds with significance twinkling in them.

I frown. It was almost as if he told the world that very same thing two thousand years ago but we forgot all about it. "Um...so what's the difference between Jesus and you, his counterpart?"

His listening eyes brim over with amusement. "He's dead. I'm alive."

"That's the only difference?" I squeak. Oh God, oh god...this means...O God...that means he IS not only Jesus, why he can universe hop as well!

I pursed my lips. Well, in that case, I'm going to treat him like that very same Jesus. And the fact is Jesus listens with his eyes. Mmm. That's so sweetly delicious. Mmm. What a guy.

"Yes. That's the only difference." He smiles again.

"But...you look like John Lennon." I blurt out. Stupid! Retarded! That's not even true. John Lennon did not have listening eyes, he had speaking ones and ‘sides why do I want to get my butt kicked by Yoko for admiring her dead guy for no reason?

"Do you listen with your eyes, too?" He asks me now.

"Me?" Damn. My voice sounds squeaky to my own ears. "No. I don't think so." Maybe I let them speak for me...its better than biting your tongue...I always have to do that when one of my aunts is around. If only she didn't irritate me so, I wouldn't have the need to use my eyes. I feel so yoko without the john lennon deal and I'm not even Japanese. So not fair!!!

"Yes, you do speak with your eyes," Jesus smiles. "I can see a whole dictionary in there."

I gape. Wow! He can read minds? Of course! If he can universe hop, then eyes were probably easy-peasy to read.

"I've speaking fingers too." I say with pride, the same pride that took a bruising a while ago. I blamed my speaking finger for this humbug bummer. It was during my demonstration to another driver about what I thought of her driving courtesy...okay...I was the one who cut her off but it was for a very important reason...but the road rat couldn't see that, so she comes charging along to give me a taste of my own medicine but not before shouting out "do you even have a brain inside your big head?"

&%$#*^

So what was I to do? Let her get away with murder? No siree. Quick as a wink, I gave her the finger...but alas she managed to escape thorough the amber portal...leaving me stuck at the red door which had sealed tight...(yes...the universe conspiring against me yet again!) with my finger still in the air...frozen to the spot as a car pulls up alongside me and said something that sounded like..."yeah darling, use yours, mine might do a lot of damage."

Of course, that was the fastest record any window got zipped up and as for the bloody red light or that could have been my face, it took far too long to change color....while the car...er...passenger and his driver buddy laughed their heads off...and that was the day my speaking finger containing the ‘f' word backfired on me big time....so now I speak the alphabet with my eyes instead. Arrogant, bitch, cow, donkey, eggplant, f...yike. zoo booger.

"So, does thou still speaketh with thy finger?" Jesus is studying my face with an amused expression.

I'm amused too. And why not? Thou still speaketh Bible!!!! "Nope." I say. "I happen to know how the universe works now."

He laughs out loud and glances pointedly at my riff-raff shoelaces. "Are you sure about that? It's much tougher than tying shoe-laces, you know."

I stare at him. Is it any wonder this chap was nailed to a cross? He annoys people with his truth. I plaster a you-don't-irritate-me smile on my face. "Actually, I can tie shoelaces to save other people's lives but....(I remembered going on my knees once to retie this old grandfatherly figure untied shoelaces...and if anyone is unsure as to whether I saved his life that day, all you have to do to prove it is to go check other universes...I bet he's dead in at least one for tripping over his untied laces) .......but I don't see the necessity in wasting time when one can slip their feet into comfy zippered or velcroed boots." ‘Sides, . I know this brilliant guy who can solve a rubic cube puzzle with just three twists but he still doesn't have a clue on how to make a pot of tea. And what is more, my own father could build boats and grow crops but end up burning every dinner black. (Actually, I inherited this particular blasphemous gene...needless to say I'm still being snubbed in every cooking conversation :( and as for braiding hair, ha, every child at school with perfectly braided hair laughed at my ‘funny plait' produced by my father whenever my mother was away to give birth to some new siblings or the other....so really now, one could be dense in one area but brilliant in another........

Jesus is obviously reading my thoughts again but it is hard to detect this in his eyes this time...remember, he has listening eyes....(duh, come on ppl, ppl, the man actually turned water into wine and breathed life into dead ppl, so really now, reading minds could be as easy as tying shoelaces)

"It's easier." Jesus smiles. "I could see into every chamber of your mind."

"Show-off." I hissed under my breath. "Hmm...but not because you can do it means that you should."

He frowns. "What do you mean?"

Uh huh. I got him right where I want him. Now who's the wise guy!!! Sure, he can read minds but I bet he can't tell what I am going to 'think' next. No one knows the future, trust me...and if God claims he knows it, then free will does not exist...(and as we should know by now, determinism cannot exist without free will) yes, if God knows the future then that would would mean everything already exists...and if god doesn't know the future, then thou is not as omnipotent as he makes out. And sides, I've got a theory to consolidate all this mess into harmony. I smile smugly. No, not the grand unification theory...more like the grand chaotic theory with some harmony tossed in for balance....

" I mean not because one can build atom bombs to obliterate half of the globe it means they should. Not because you can breathe life into the body of another, it means you should. I mean what if I killed a dangerous fly that could obliterate the whole world and then some wise guy decides to bring it back to life without questioning why the fly is dead in the first place, huh, huh? I would be stomping mad if someone overrides my-"

"Ah." He interrupts me. "I know exactly what you're saying and I'll show you another side to those thougths but I'm afraid I've to send you back to your universe before Gaia finds out they are reading stuff written by Reflect and not Amy Ramdass."

"Huh?" I gape at him. "I thought you were the one who hopped over to my universe! And I am Amy Ramdass."

Jesus smiles. "No. You're not. Amy is over there curled up in her winter blanket, totally lost in a disney movie."

"Yikes!" I say. "I can see her. Yikes! I hijacked her computer?"

"Yep. You did. Now let's get you back home to your world."

"Do you live in my world?" I ask him hopefully.

"No. I'm neither from your world nor Amy's." Jesus says sadly. "But I'll be visiting you and Amy sometime again soon."

"Okay. That would be irie!" I can hardly believe I'm "Reflect" when the whole time I thought I was someone else! Yikes. Thank goodness for Jesus. Prince of our Heaven.... he will always sit on a pedestal...er...it looks like a rock from my side of things....... and I'll always look up at him and not because he brought the dead to life or walked on water or turned ice into wine but ...but...because of that life saving wisdom of his..."Those of you who are without sin shall cast the first stone..." I love it! Like I said, so absolutely life saving...........but I better get moving before Amy finds me 'reflecting' in her blog or there would be no saving of my life.....

Tags: QaR, time, days, reflection, practice, thinking, visioning, the universe and I, prince of heaven, deep contemplation

What was the biggest adventure of your past year?

http://goddess2day.gaia.com — Thu, 01 Jan 2009 01:06:56 GMT

I'm here at my computer (where else would I be?) listening to sad songs on YouTube and feeling somewhat over-smacked by sadness. Oh why oh why? What heck give 2008 the nerves to bring me such an unhappy ending after I fell in love with all its characters? Like what the novel is wrong with him, doesn't he know I hate unhappy endings?

Yikes. It seems such a long time ago since 2008 arrived like a winter blast one very cold January ago. *Sniff* And now...*more sniffs* I am not sure what makes me more sad, him preparing to leave me just when I decided to accept him for his unusual ways or the fact that although he writes brilliant chapters, he somehow didn't have the art to end the last chapter with a happy blast. Sigh. I have to admit the former situation makes me sadder. I am going to miss him, yes him. 2008. Sniff. I can't stop crying...and if I don't stop soon, I'll be up to my third eye in tissues...

Oh well...maybe I should write it all down, talk about those "exciting, adventuresome, heart-stopping" and sometimes "scary" wild romps...er...adventures I had with 2008. Yep. I really ought to recount all the challenges I overcame, all the challenges that overcame me...........let him know he rocked at times....sucked at times...and how I managed to stay balanced on the tight rope between his heaven and earth...

I pull out a piece of paper and begins to write...(shut up, I'm feeling archaic, okay!!!) when suddenly the pen slips and falls to the floor. *%$#%*%$#@ I fear my earphones will follow too so I ignore the pen and opt for my keyboard instead...

"Dear 2008. I'm going to miss you-"

"Boo!" Someone says loudly behind my back.

What the-I spun around in amazement and there he is...2008, all packed as if he's going someplace sunny and watery...there are suitcases on his head, an inflatable boat in one arm, a super size beach ball in the other... and sun-tan lotion poking out of his tea-shirt's pocket.

I gulp. "Hey! Don't sneak up on me like that! Yikes! You scared away what little bliss I had left inside of me!!!!"

He smiles. The nerves. 2008 smiles at me. "Why are you crying?" and "Oh, there's no need to shout."

I scowl, my left fingers tugging at my earphones while my mouse fingers exit off YouTube. I gulped in a huge breath of air before glancing up at 2008. "I was listening to a song. You've a problem with that?"

2008 stares at me. "No wonder you're crying. For Simon's sake, "I'm a rock" is a terribly sad song. And why are you listening to it?"

I stare back at 2008. *Sniff* "As if you don't know!!!" I roll my mental eyes.

He's still staring at me in genuine confusion. "Let's get this straight. So someone you know is going through a break-up, but why is it affecting you so...why are you letting it affect you at all?"

I roll my eyes, my physical ones. "Because, dear Knockout Year of mine, you of all years should know that I lost my shield....and it feels as if all the plagues of the universe is bombarding me........it's like having no immune system, no protective gear against the negative force of nature....everyone's pain becomes my pain......"

2008 made a face. "Yeah, yeah...I know all about it because everything is all about you...I have known this since January."

I scowl darkly. "Sarcasm suits you."

"I wasn't being sarcastic." 2008 denies sheepishly.

(As if it matters to me!!! Years can believe the heck what they wanna believe.)

2008 tries again. "Well, I'm sure you know that this ‘disappearing shield' biz of yours have a positive side too. If you're being bombarded with other people's pain, then you should also be feeling their happiness."

I let that bit rumble through my mind before tossing it out. I don't want to dwell on happiness right now but I know I'm going to be swamped by it soon. So I change the subject. "Oh! Before I forget, I need to go over the most memorable dates I had with you." I smile as the good times begin to roll across my inner vision and then it stopped. My smile stops too. "Yikes." I screech. "The bad stuff outweighs the good!!! Bloody!!! Hell!!!! What the OLD YEAR is up with that!!!!!"

It was 2008 turn to roll his eyes. "Not true. You had equal amounts of everything this year...however, it would seem the opposite because your ‘happiness' came in at a slow drip-drop rate."

I frown. "Not good...not good enough..." Come to think of it, it was like receiving a drop of sugar every other second. Trust me!!! Japanese Water Torture sounds less parching!!!

2008 looks all bent out of shape. "Well, at least I tried ...at least I did a better job than 2007!!! "

I gape. "You did?" I close my mouth only to open it to sputter. " You did not!! If I'm correct, 2007 was a more productive companion! Heck, I wrote a whole book in 2007 and what did I do in 2008?" I brought my fist down hard unto my keyboard *ow* "All I did in 2008 was probably to edit and re-edit and you know what else? It's the last day of your year and I am still bloody polishing manuscripts!!! In fact, I'm so obsessed with polishing, I've become a hopeless addict in this field and unable to stop myself from editing everything in sight...yes, even-

"Don't forget you had a computer crash." 2008 interrupts me. (He's looking more flustered than ever. And he should be! Bloody incompetent Bastard Year!!! What a loser year he has proven to be.

"And whose fault is that? Whose fault that I had a computer crash!" I roll my eyes again for disgruntled effect. "You could have waited until I did my back-up but oh no, you had to accomplish the impossible before your time was out!!!"

2008 shrugs. "'Sides, you were able to salvage most of your data."

I shrug too. "Yes, but it cost me time and money. And talking about money, I lost my diamond solitaire as well...and I wasn't sure whether it got snapped off its base in some shopping mall fitting rooms or whether it fell off while I was cleaning." (So I blew it a goodbye kiss wherever it was and thought about having it replaced...only thing was that it was going to cost me over 4,500.00 Canadian dollars and the way I saw that scenario was that it was a simple waste of money.........money I could give to the starving children of the world, installment for my children's extra-education and so much more.)

2008 looks suddenly enlightened but I ignore him.

Sigh. "Who really needs to wear a solitaire anyway?" Certainly not me................and ‘sides, the thing is this...I truly believe that whatever a person earns by their own sweat, no one could take away, and if lost, would always be found in same form or another.........but I concluded that ‘stupidity' and 'carelessness' were probably an unsolvable glitch in my ‘keep-forever-if-earned-by-your own-sweat' program.

Sigh. So many things have happened this year to cause my heart strings to come undone and make my heart bleed non-stop.

"Yes, but you found the diamond from your ring this morning, didn't you now?" 2008 is looking at me in a triumphant manner.

"Yes." I am unable to hold back my smile. "I found it in a corner of the house...which is really weird....the entire house was vacuumed so many times since I lost the damn thing...and when I found it, I wasn't even looking for it...actually I was swiffering dust off the floor and I heard a clink and there it was...right at my feet!!!"

"That ought to make you smile for the next few of my remaining hours." 2008 said smugly.

"I know." I say. "And 2008, thanks. " I let out a grateful breath. "I also want to tell you that although you brought cancer to one of my relative (though you should have left that to year 2050 or something) what the heck, at least she's fully recovered...in total remission..."

"You're welcome. What else brought you pain?" He asks gently.

I bit my lips, my mind working furiously but I can't come up with anything of substantial value. "Umm...what else has brought me pain?" I mumble in my mind. " Why, the least thing...every single thing in this universe...including bloody sirens...really...it tells me the road Nazis are getting nearer.....ya know...trust me, if they saved lives by scaring the heck out of Shumackers wannabe, well, they do the opposite for me because now instead of paying attention to the bloody road, I am on the full lookout for traffic lords! (I have become an accident waiting to happen) Hai Bhagwan, I can't even drive in peace!!!!"

2008 smiles indulgently. "I'm sure you will get over it. "

"I doubt it. I highly doubt it." I sniff. " I am starting to become a paranoid freak. Take today for instance. A simple word ‘melt' motivated me to panic big time. You see...the last time I was at the gym, one of the trainers handed me a packet of sample products......and normally I don't remember to use the damn stuff until they expired but today I spotted it on the bathroom floor and I decided to try the one called ‘instant melting hair masque'. It promised the moon, the sun and stuff like "hair is repaired for a silky weightless feel" and what is more...this could be achieved in an instant...........and if you know me, you would know I love instant stuff.........only thing, once I got into the bath.....washed my hair like the instructions said...toweled dry like the instructions said........i applied the entire contents on my hair....from tips to crown like the instruction demanded....and lo....suddenly it assailed me....this horrible smell that could be found nowhere in nature...but only in depilatory creams..............and suddenly I saw my hair melting off my head in rapid succession...I saw me unable to go to work, ashamed to face anyone, me unable to find a wig.............oh god...my hair...my precious hair...(you know...I am planning to grow it Rapunzel long....for the first time of my life and oh god...now I was going to have to start from scratch....oh god....my hair is currently the length of three (okay...four when wet) standard bath tiles.......yikes....and here I was carelessly ‘melting' it off with some Garnier product.......oh god...it smelled like Neet....what if Garnier made a huge mistake and stuffed the wrong product into the right packet????"

I pause for breath. "In a flash I saw untold horrors of this universe...like people with perfectly good hair laughing at my orange wig...(I mean where would I find a brunette wig during holiday season? And even if I found one online who would deliver during at a time like this???)"

Sigh.

"After I washed off the stuff in lightning speed....(damn weak water wouldn't pour out fast enough) I read the description on the packet once again. And I breathed a sigh of relief. Okay...the result for all the stress....well..........I now have shiny, sweet smelling hair (I used suave orchid petal conditioner afterwards) and here I am smiling away....my hair smells like an orchid walk...."

"Mmmm........ I think in another couple of years (6 inches per year) I will have rapunzel long hair and no witch better not try to climb up that........." I laugh out loud. "Or I'll have to use ‘Neet' after all...."

"2008 laughs out loud too. " Now tell me this. Why the heck were you listening to sad songs on Youtube a little while ago?"

I sigh dramatically. "Someone I know is going through a break-up and all because his girlfriend of ten months suddenly realizes he's too un-punjabi, too un-rich, too much meat eating going on in his stomach...and some etcetera...and oh...get this....he's never going to fit in no matter if he gets initiated into the clan because he's ‘black'. I roll my eyes. "In this day and age...what the heck 2008? Scenes like these are so friggin last century! What were you thinking when you brought it into play in this era? "

2008 sighs. "It's not my fault. It's all the 1960's and beyond fault. And Nature too. But at least you understand her, know how to get into her mind, decode her programming..."

"Yea." I agree. "Nature thinks I'm a rebel without a cause but at least now she knows why I try so hard to figure her out. Why I have this need to outsmart her."

2008 blinks. "Yes I did observe that and I really thought u were suicidal....it was like someone cutting off their head to spite their neck!"

I chuckle at his expression. "Yes, it means the end of all we know and the beginning of new things once all humankind figure out nature."

"You'll miss me?" 2008 asks suddenly.

"Yeah." I sniff.   " I am going to miss you becuz...becuz...you made me stronger....you brought me down on my knees to kiss my bent out world back into shape, you made me hold hands and give out courage, you showed me how to keep everything in balance ...." I sniff again. "Everything turned out okay except for one little broken heart!"

"Perhaps 2009 will correct all imbalances." 2008 says with a hopeful glint in his eyes. Sounds like he is really regretting he didn't make a happy ending to his December chapter he wrote for me.

"I hope so too."   Sigh. I am so stomping mad...so mad, I could eat my own stew, drink my own steam!!!! Choke on my own venom!!!

God!!!! Why is my own race viewing me and my generation as a disease because my forefathers sailed away from their land so many friggin eggplants ago??? What the Whitby??   *%$#@% .  I really need to kick some ignoramus's butt!!!! I mean what the Hesperus!!!    Hai Bhagwan!   Are people really this short-sighted? How come I don't have any racial bones--

"Whoa there." 2008 says with a chuckle. "Keep in mind that you understand why people say and think the things they do. It's all inside their programming."

I sigh. "I know. And just so you know, I'm already over that bit..." I took a calming breath.   "I'm going to miss you." I added.  I give 2008 a warm hug and felt butterflies churning away in my stomach as his shadow drifted further away. I blow him a warm kiss. I am really, really gonna miss him.

Sigh.

PS: Amy is off to rock around the clock till 2009.

Tags: QaR, year, adventure, challenge, broken heart, bad hair day, all is well that ends well

What does winter mean for you?

http://goddess2day.gaia.com — Sun, 21 Dec 2008 17:26:03 GMT

Mmm...Winter, o baby o, you make me wanna sing...

"Hello Winter, how are you today?
                         I'm so glad that you have come my way.
                          Hello Winter, say, you're looking fine,
                         Won't you have a cup of tea and join these friends of mine?"

Dear Winter...

Do you believe in love at first sight?

I do. I really do. I have been in love with you ever since I was a baby girl. You were in my first story book and o baby, your snowy wonders were sweet magic of another kind and it intrigued me so...

You were my sweet fantasy, a dream I knew would come true. Even though your name spelled out cold, hard and ruthless, W-I-N-T-E-R, you meant the opposite of all those words to me...

Do you know? Images are powerful things...well, so are sounds and smell....(and let's leave taste and touch for later, hmm?).....but it wasn't your freshly shaven pine scent nor the mesmerizing sounds of your north winds that did it for me...rather, it was your picture....they spoke to me a thousand words...and that first scene of you had me craving to know more about you. I wanted to step into your winter wonderland, bury myself in your arms and absorb your cold essence...

I love it when you are near...as near as outside.........it means I get to stay indoors...and you know how I love being trapped inside...so my darling Winter, know also that you have fulfilled one of my dreams.... I really enjoyed being warm and cozy where I love it the most.........so please, anytime, unleash your snowmageddon........fill me up with your extreme passion....bring on your snow day...shut the world down...shut the world up....keep me indoors...I don't really care, as long as you are here with me, I am happy to gaze at the world from the inside out...

You are cozy fireplaces and intimate pajamas. Mmm, your hot cups of cocoa are really sips of nirvana. You can spice up any room with sweet solitude and tranquil moments. You bring out dreamy reflections and romantic wonders everywhere and you even come with chenille socks, ultra plush booties...and oh......mmm...soft, warm micro fleece blankets that snugly hug and cling to the curves of my soul.........oh....who'd ever want to come out from under those.........certainly not me.........

So feel free to stay all winter...and when you are gone, no worries...love you too when we are miles away...

Yep, please don't be in a hurry to go away too soon. Just know, when you are here, even when I am stuck indoors, I can go on and on and on...

I Love you. (morning, noon and nights...especially nights...mmm...)

Your snow queen

Amy :-)

Tags: QaR, winter, memories, season, reminders, the cozy side of winter, flickering firelights and toasty toes

What do you look forward to most about getting older?

http://goddess2day.gaia.com — Sat, 06 Dec 2008 04:58:14 GMT

Squeak... Me? Am I looking forward to getting older? Ha! One of the things I think I would enjoy when it comes to ‘old age and ageing' is probably to spend some of the ‘Time' I banked during my younger days to tell the world of the time I once ruled my world with the arrogance and sweetness of youth..............................................and yes, I can see myself dreaming each and every night of those good old days when I was once queen of it all........................................

Coldplay - Viva La Vida Lyrics

I know youth has shown me how to lose my way and I bet old age will reveal the way to find it so until that time when I have earned my way back, trust me, I'll be happy to rule the streets in youth or sweep the world in old age...or vice versa............

God! I love this world! Oh Devil! I hate this world too.... and that's the whole truth and nothing but the truth......I love this world as much as I hate it and I think I love ‘aging' as much as I am going to hate it...............

Yikes! I need to get this song out of my head........it's making me write crazy...stuff...!!!!!

Tags: QaR, aging, older, growing, maturity, viva la vida, all is good, all is bad

Friday Five, Saturday sixer and some Sunday Seven

http://goddess2day.gaia.com — Sat, 22 Nov 2008 00:53:24 GMT

Oh alright, Prabhath...alright, I am going to enter my answers here in my blog but first of all thanks for tagging me........you're the best!

And also, while I am at it, I will use the last remaining precious drops of playful Friday Fever left inside of me to tag five wonderful souls on Gaia........(I am groaning here...why only Five? Five questions, five people?......yikes, I hope no one feels left out when I pick only 5 out of a whole 170......and 'sides that would be tough since I am no good at counting accurately.......and psst....I'm very good at breaking certain rules...so keep this part a secret...)

To the task...   I pick Liza Hottie ;    Ralph Waterheart    Nicole Nightingale ,

Heavenly Starlight      Rory RockStar    Ariela the little mermaid

and I absolutely cannot leave out my Bhaiya J so...let's see how many of you will rock n roll in my blog....

SO there.   To play or not to play is totally up to you......my fun friends....

Here is my attempt at the Friday Five.......

1) What are you thankful for today?

I am thankful for 'unconditional love'. (Boring) Let me try again. Okay...I think I am most grateful for all the genius-aces around me, especially the ones who built the Internet just for me to work and play on it..................becuz if they didn't, there is no way my numbskull head would think up such a great way to communicate let alone execute it so effectively.    I am also grateful to the person who thought up this FRIDAY FIVE game so they can get cyber-shy ppl like me to play and keep the stress at bay.....

2) What do you appreciate about the Earth?

Ah, good ol' earth. What's there not to appreciate about earth? Her quicksands?   I appreciate that too becuz it keeps me on the alert.......but I definitely do not appreciate her traffic police. I swear. GOD!!!!! I'm still stomping mad!!!    Yes, as stoming mad as Yo Samite Sam!!!!!

3) Who is the last person you said "thank you" to?

A T.O. cop! Last night right after I was served with a traffic ticket becuz I 'flew right through a solid green light on a left turn',   and after the cop handed me the totally unnecessary fine, I rolled my eyes to the highest heaven and said "Thank you".

4) When was the last time someone thanked you?

A few seconds ago....and it was barely noticed becuz I was already deep into these questions....

5) What is your favorite way to say thank you?
My favorite way to say thank you is through the written words.........because verbally, all I can manage at times are 'thank you, thank you very much." as if I am some rock-n-roll queen. Lol.

Okay...just thought I'd add a Six-er in case by the time Santa reads that I've been violating traffic rules, it's already Saturday or Sunday or yikes....Christmas Eve.

6. Dear Santa. Is it too late to start being 'nice' if someone has been naughty all year round?
Dear Virginia. Yes. It's never too late to start being nice, so be a good girl and pay your traffic fine peacefully...and stop wishing that the traffic cop would choke on his next donut or the donut would swallow him instead of the other way round.

and I can't resist a Sunday 7-er. Um, do you really have to tag five people???
YES!!!!   JUST DO IT!!!!!

Happy Friday (or what is left of it) to all of you, my visible and invisible readers. Now: PS: I am off to see twilight with the newest teenager in my house.
Love u
Amy :-)

Tags: Amy is stomping mad but very thankful for, Friday Five. To Saturday six.

How do you like to be woken up?

http://goddess2day.gaia.com — Tue, 11 Nov 2008 04:39:43 GMT

"Now, how do I like to be awakened in mind, body and spirits?"

First I'd like to declare to the world that I'd prefer to bask in sleep for a bit longer........and if it's absolutely necessary for the devil to bring me out of deep sleep, then I'd like to be awaken in the exact same way I awaken him each era...with a soft kiss on his third eye all the way to his underworld...

Until then, please let me sleep for a thousand, thousand years...and if I am not awakened by sunshine and singing birds........then DDND (definitely do not disturb) my slumber.......unless.....unless the world needs me to save it from Lucifer who is thoroughly disgruntled because some little tease awakened him before his bloody time...and left him...er...fully awakened.............. Yikes...that was me???

...........Unholy sleep....let the sunshine and singing birds into the world........let sleeping beauty and sleeping devils sleep until they are ready to awaken themselves........... So come on spindle witches....join the slumber party....... What need is there to save the world when we are all getting our healing zzz's?????

Good night, sweet dreams my lovely world.......may we slumber on........until we are fully rested................

Tags: QaR, awakening, awareness, possibilities, new