When do you take time to reflect on your day?

Psst.  Here's a deep, dark secret.                                     That was exactly what I, Reflect Contemplation Ramdass was doing a few weeks ago when I made a dangerous turn on a green light.............................You see, I was heading home and what better place to chew over a recent accident made by the mother of one of my friends?            Yep. In traffic, of course...music blaring, me feeling level headed and smart...because I, Reflect had learned a great lesson from this 60 year old woman................and all for free..................Apparently, this chatterbox wasn't paying attention to the road and she ended up not only wrecking her car but herself and her friend as well.  I shook my head.  Gee, what a terrible driver!!! I mulled it over some more as I blazed a zig-zag path through traffic.       What a moron!  No, not me, her!!!...                     I mean who would slide through left on a green light without waiting for the intersection to clear itself of traffic?           Idiot, that's who!!!   

Needless to say, that was the evening the entire universe conspired to prove that I was the Queen of ‘em all...er...half-wits.  Yep, and as if proof wasn't enough, the bloody universe had to corner me with flashing lights, a devil mobile and sirens!!!

Anyway, on further contemplation, I've decided to tell the judge the truth and making a point of saying how grateful I am to the traffic cop who made me aware of the dangers of driving dangerously.     NOT!!!!     I mean I am an idiot, the whole universe knows this but do I have to actually admit to the courts that I am one too?               And ‘sides, come on, which of you have not committed a heinous traffic crime while in deep contemplation mode?       So there, those of you who are without sin shall cast the first stones.   And 'sides, I've learned my lesson.  So why make me pay unnecessarily?  One would only put themselves in debt to persue my downfall....   Trust me!

You know, times like these, I want to stand up proud and say it loud, "THANK GOD FOR JESUS." 

"DID SOMEONE CALL MY NAME?" 

Yikes, who was that?  I look around but I see no one...anyway back to sweet reflections.   Back to Jesus...I mean, if he hadn't uttered such a truth, I would have been stoned to death ages ago because you see, most of my deepest sins...er...errors occurred during my deepest reflections....        The last one was committed while I was housecleaning in pondering mode and yank!  The diamond fell off my ring leaving me blissfully unaware of an ugly gaping hole in my ring.   

Okay...so I found the pesky stone back...but could that really compensate for the stress of proving to the world that I was a moron yet again?  Hmm...actually...that's a good question...because come to think of it, which person in history...er...herstory in my case... has ever found a needle in a haystack?  Reflect Ramdass, Empress of the Idiots, that's who.  Wow!  My name and title shall go down in the HERSTORY whole new bible series books.  Hoorah! 

So there, my universe, too bad you're always waiting around for my unguarded moments to stab me in the back!!!      Too bad you wait around like a vulture for me to trip over my shoe laces.     Always conspiring to show me how idiotic I can be.  Well, guess what, my resolution this year is to stay alert at all times, even during-

"HELLO THERE!!!"

I am rolling my eyes in irritation.  Trust someone to interrupt me in deep reflection mode.  See what I mean about the universe always conspiring against me??? !!!!!  And I'm not even a conspiracy theorist!!!  Okay...I was...but...I'm retarded now, okay!!!

"Hello there!" I say as I spun around to greet my interrupter.  "And you want what?" 

My mouth immediately falls open for guess who is sitting peacefully on a rock beside me?  Okay...it's not my rock so I breathe a sigh of relief only to tense all over again...Why is HE here?...The Pandora inside me stares at him. Is He not supposed to be dead?  Dead people are spooky!!!

But sigh...he's the epitome of masculine perfection and he even looks exactly the way the majority describes him. Well...er...almost. Oh God...I love his rock star hair! It cascades like pure silk on his shoulders. And his face...mm...it's wearing the most serene expression ever and what is more, I could see a whole world of wisdom shining gloriously in his eyes.

I could hardly believe my eyes.  Squeak.  This Man, son of man, Sun God, God Sun, whatever...HE...Him...Christ...Lord...the prince of heaven is here beside me.  Yikes!  He's more than 2000 years older than me and yet he looks so youthful...mmm....like a punk prince....whatever he is and whatever he is not...just know this........he's always been the prince of my whole heart....

But too bad!!!!!

"Listen up, young man!" I attack him crossly without any greeting.  "What the heck was all that about, you crucifying yourself for my sins on some cross?"

His mouth falls open.  He's obviously not used to this line of questioning.

Too bad!!!

"Do I look like some sapling who can't fetch her own sins?  Huh? Huh?"

Okay, it appears he's ready for my second outburst for he smiles.  It starts off slowly at first and then it spreads all over his face. "I'm not "the" Jesus but a counterpart of his from a nearby universe."

"I knew it!"  I say in triumph. "I knew it!" I pause breathlessly.  "But..."   Oh baby, I can't stop looking at Jesus'...er...Jesus' counterpart's eyes.  It spells out "reflection" and "contemplation" and come to think of it, tis just in, his eyes are made of serenity.  I try to squelch the Pandora in me but she won.  My curiosity is fully aroused.  He looks very self-assured and in charge of things.  How come Jesus is so calm and collected in such a chaotic world? 

"Go on. Ask me anything." He encourages me.  "I listen with my eyes." He adds with significance twinkling in them. 

I frown.  It was almost as if he told the world that very same thing two thousand years ago but we forgot all about it. "Um...so what's the difference between Jesus and you, his counterpart?"

His listening eyes brim over with amusement. "He's dead. I'm alive."

"That's the only difference?" I squeak.  Oh God, oh god...this means...O God...that means he IS not only Jesus, why he can universe hop as well!

I pursed my lips.  Well, in that case, I'm going to treat him like that very same Jesus.  And the fact is Jesus listens with his eyes.  Mmm.  That's so sweetly delicious.  Mmm. What a guy.

"Yes. That's the only difference." He smiles again.

"But...you look like John Lennon." I blurt out.  Stupid! Retarded! That's not even true. John Lennon did not have listening eyes, he had speaking ones and ‘sides why do I want to get my butt kicked by Yoko for admiring her dead guy for no reason? 

"Do you listen with your eyes, too?" He asks me now.

"Me?"  Damn. My voice sounds squeaky to my own ears.  "No. I don't think so."  Maybe I let them speak for me...its better than biting your tongue...I always have to do that when one of my aunts is around.   If only she didn't irritate me so, I wouldn't have the need to use my eyes.   I feel so yoko without the john lennon deal and I'm not even Japanese.  So not fair!!!

"Yes, you do speak with your eyes," Jesus smiles.  "I can see a whole dictionary in there." 

I gape.  Wow! He can read minds?  Of course!  If he can universe hop, then eyes were probably easy-peasy to read.

"I've speaking fingers too."  I say with pride, the same pride that took a bruising a while ago.  I blamed my speaking finger for this humbug bummer.    It was during my demonstration to another driver about what I thought of her driving courtesy...okay...I was the one who cut her off but it was for a very important reason...but the road rat couldn't see that, so she comes charging along to give me a taste of my own medicine but not before shouting out "do you even have a brain inside your big head?" 

&%$#*^

So what was I to do?  Let her get away with murder?  No siree.  Quick as a wink, I gave her the finger...but alas she managed to escape thorough the amber portal...leaving me stuck at the red door which had sealed tight...(yes...the universe conspiring against me yet again!) with my finger still in the air...frozen to the spot as  a car pulls up alongside me and said something that sounded like..."yeah darling, use yours, mine might do a lot of damage."

Of course, that was the fastest record any window got zipped up and as for the bloody red light or that could have been my face, it took far too long to change color....while the car...er...passenger and his driver buddy laughed their heads off...and that was the day my speaking finger containing the ‘f' word backfired on me big time....so now I speak the alphabet with my eyes instead.  Arrogant, bitch, cow, donkey, eggplant, f...yike.  zoo booger.

"So, does thou still speaketh with thy finger?" Jesus is studying my face with an amused expression.

I'm amused too. And why not?  Thou still speaketh Bible!!!!  "Nope." I say.  "I happen to know how the universe works now."

He laughs out loud and glances pointedly at my riff-raff shoelaces.  "Are you sure about that? It's much tougher than tying shoe-laces, you know."

I stare at him.  Is it any wonder this chap was nailed to a cross?     He annoys people with his truth.         I plaster a you-don't-irritate-me smile on my face.  "Actually, I can tie shoelaces to save other people's lives but....(I remembered going on my knees once to retie this old grandfatherly figure untied shoelaces...and if anyone is unsure as to whether I saved his life that day, all you have to do to prove it is to go check other universes...I bet he's dead in at least one for tripping over his untied laces)              .......but I don't see the necessity in wasting time when one can slip their feet into comfy zippered or velcroed boots."           ‘Sides, .  I know this brilliant guy who can solve a rubic cube puzzle with just three twists but he still doesn't have a clue on how to make a pot of tea.           And what is more, my own father could build boats and grow crops but end up burning every dinner black. (Actually, I inherited this particular blasphemous gene...needless to say I'm still being snubbed in every cooking conversation :(  and as for braiding hair, ha, every child at school with perfectly braided hair laughed at my ‘funny plait' produced by my father whenever my mother was away to give birth to some new siblings or the other....so really now, one could be dense in one area but brilliant in another........

Jesus is obviously reading my thoughts again but it is hard to detect this in his eyes this time...remember, he has listening eyes....(duh, come on ppl, ppl, the man actually turned water into wine and breathed life into dead ppl, so really now, reading minds could be as easy as tying shoelaces) 

"It's easier." Jesus smiles. "I could see into every chamber of your mind."

"Show-off." I hissed under my breath. "Hmm...but not because you can do it means that you should."

He frowns.  "What do you mean?"

Uh huh.  I got him right where I want him.  Now who's the wise guy!!!   Sure, he can read minds but I bet he can't tell what I am going to 'think' next.    No one knows the future, trust me...and if God claims he knows it, then free will does not exist...(and as we should know by now, determinism cannot exist without free will) yes, if God knows the future then that would would mean everything already exists...and if god doesn't know the future, then thou is not as omnipotent as he makes out.  And sides, I've got a theory to consolidate all this mess into harmony. I smile smugly.   No, not the grand unification theory...more like the grand chaotic theory with some harmony tossed in for balance....

" I mean not because one can build atom bombs to obliterate half of the globe it means they should.  Not because you can breathe life into the body of another, it means you should.  I mean what if I killed a dangerous fly that could obliterate the whole world and then some wise guy decides to bring it back to life without questioning why the fly is dead in the first place, huh, huh?  I would be stomping mad if someone overrides my-"

"Ah." He interrupts me. "I know exactly what you're saying and I'll show you another side to those thougths but I'm afraid I've to send you back to your universe before Gaia finds out they are reading stuff written by Reflect and not Amy Ramdass."

"Huh?" I gape at him.  "I thought you were the one who hopped over to my universe!  And I am Amy Ramdass."

Jesus smiles.  "No.  You're not.  Amy is over there curled up in her winter blanket, totally lost in a disney movie."

"Yikes!" I say.  "I can see her.  Yikes!  I hijacked her computer?"

"Yep. You did.  Now let's get you back home to your world."

"Do you live in my world?" I ask him hopefully.

"No. I'm neither from your world nor Amy's." Jesus says sadly. "But I'll be visiting you and Amy sometime again soon."

"Okay. That would be irie!"  I can hardly believe I'm "Reflect" when the whole time I thought I was someone else!  Yikes.     Thank goodness for Jesus.     Prince of  our Heaven....       he will always sit on a pedestal...er...it looks like a rock from my side of things.......         and I'll always look up at him and not because he brought the dead to life or walked on water or turned ice into wine but ...but...because of that life saving wisdom of his..."Those of you who are without sin shall cast the first stone..."  I love it!  Like I said, so absolutely life saving...........but I better get moving before Amy finds me 'reflecting' in her blog or there would be no saving of my life.....