What has your experience been of loss or grief?

However,  it's the premature decay of creation that I am choked up about.......  I like to create and I want to preserve and when something is ready for the decay bin, hey, I've no problems with that.......... However, I am very saddened when a flower is plucked before its time is yet....(And even though I understand the why's of it, it still makes me blue :( 

Yes, untimely deaths has shown me that in order not to witness and feel the pain of a trampled upon flower, one has to preserve all that is not ready to die...,,,,,,,,,and that also includes the ego, the mind, the spirits.......(let Pandora thrive, okay?:)  and so much more...and because I hate the pain associated with the loss of a beautiful unique flower, the preserver has taken birth within me. ......    (The creator and the destroyer dwell within me too...but should I use my destructive powers to benefit only me?    O Arjuna, I now understand your predicament!             Yikes, I'm heading for the detached bin...;(

While other flowers are free to cut me down, hurt me, trampled upon me, I refused to destroy anyone or anything...yes...even my own mind that still wants to wallow in delusion........and when its time for it to die, may the universal destroyer bludgeon it to death...and bring forth a new mind......yes, there is a universal destroyer...it's called Accident...and even though it could be born from humans' touch, it does not have to be..............(Yikes, I'm headed for the loony bin...:)

Okay, that said.. ....My wacky philosophical illusions and delusions and beliefs are what help me to deal with loss...And if there should be death of any minds through reading this, may it be a gentle decaying death.  May these words preserve sweet minds and may it create new ones...

Yes. I am definitely headed for the loony bin....

Pouring my heart out to bring peace to others is the thing that helps me too....

Dear Ash & Sonia,

I met the Prince of Timehri when he was just a few hours old. (God, I was so lucky)   In fact, I was one of the first people to welcome him to our world.  (Huh?  You mean to tell me you didn't know Timehri was once blessed with a Prince?   Yikes! )

Anyway, where was I?  Oh yes, I was waiting patiently at the hospital for the Prince to arrive.  And yes, I was one of the first few to have met him a few hours after birth.   If I had my way, I would have been the first to greet him the minute he arrived on this planet but the hospitals were old fuds and are still old fuds.  They have no clue that they should always allow silly old aunts to skulk around delivery rooms.  Darn fuds, eh!!!

Anyway, all of us, (aunts, uncles plus mother and father of the prince), we sat on a hospital bed and waited and waited and waited.  And then evening dawned and we reluctantly made our way home only to return the very next day and the next.

Our first sentence each time we arrived was, "Is baby here?"  And to be honest, we didn't really mind waiting.  You see, we knew all along.  Our Prince would be worth the wait.

The day our Prince arrived, something different was in the air.  We just knew today was going to be special.  It was the 3^rd of August 1988.  The trees bore more flowers than usual, the world was full of smiles and oh yes, even the insipid grass appeared greener.  It was a perfect day!

When I arrived, I didn't have to ask my usual question.  I just knew our new prince had arrived.  And just one glimpse of him had butterflies fluttering all over my heart.  He was here!  And he was the most good-looking baby boy I had ever seen.    I fell in love with him right away.  In fact, I fell in love with him even before I met him.  I know.  I know.  I was like that little squirrel in the movie, Madagascar. "I like him first!  I like him even before I met him." 

The Prince became the star of our universe from that day onwards.  When the old king died on August 20^th, 1988, the little prince took the sharp edge off our painful reality. 

Then one day, when the prince was only seventeen years old, his soul whispered to him.  "In another universe, there's a mother who desperately needs you to fill her days with joy."   However, our prince knew we would never part with him so he hatched up a plan with his Soul.   When we weren't looking, when we were paying the least attention, he would find an escape route into that other universe that needed him so badly.   (Darn that other universe!  Oh heck, I shouldn't be selfish, at least we had the prince for 17 whole years, right?  Right!)

Anyway, to our utmost sadness, the plan was successful and now ...sigh...we are left without a prince but you know what?   He has two lovely sisters in that other universe.   And do you know what our Prince is saying to them right now?

He is telling them with a tear in each eye of the two most beautiful sisters he had to leave behind.  (Oh and a silly aunty too) And you know what else?   He is proud of  us for allowing him to leave so he can share his love with other sisters in other worlds.

Do you know the names of the sisters he's so proud of?  Yes, everyone knows them.  Their names are Sonia and Ashley and once upon a time they were the sweet sisters of Sunil, Prince of Timehri.

Forever Sunil

It seems as if it was only yesterday
When I last spoke to you on the phone
"Sunil, what would you like to be one day"
And I heard the pleasure in your tone

"I want to own a bicycle repair shop
And I never want to see school ever again
But my mom doesn't want me to stop
And everyday it drives me insane"

Boys will be boys; I had to agree
I spoke with your mother that very same day
How to help you to be by letting Sunil be
We saw you growing into a fine young man, anyway

Forever seventeen, yes, this is how it seems
You come here dear nephew, age after age as if on cue
In one lifetime, you have already been here twice
Every generation this is the norm, you come in similar forms

For you are Timehri true and through
You are the Sun under skies of blue
A daredevil kind of angel without wings
With smiles to grease up rusty old things

Forever the bicycle repair adept
Flitting in and out of trees
Swimming out of your depths
Laughing with the breeze

You are the cars flying by on high
Yes, you somehow seemed to know
Your bicycle is your portal to the Sky
You are only here for the show

I close my eyes and I see you there
Sunil, laughing, Sunil, riding up and down
Yes, I see now that you will always be here
You have not really left this town

You never seem to make it beyond seventeen
It is as if you come to replay this particular scene
Do you know I die each time you go away too soon
Why can't you live here for many, many moons

What purpose would this really serve
Sunil, it is as if you want to be preserved
A boy with laughing eyes
Revealing blue, blue skies
Riding up and down on his bike of thrills
Forever seventeen, a destiny already fulfilled...